Saturday, May 8, 2010

I am Not

Who loves going to the bookstore?

Kelsey and I love it for sure.  Last Saturday, we decided to drop by the "big one" with the coffee shop in it.  (Of course, our town is too small for one of these grand stores so we stopped in while visiting family in SC.)  I could waste spend so much time walking up and down the aisles...picking up books...turning the pages...reading each cover...anxious to uncover the story inside each one. 

I decided that we could each get one book.  If I don't say those words aloud before we walk in, I will end up spending next week's budget on books, magazines, book marks and crossword puzzles. 

Kelsey found her favorite section in Youth Fiction and I made myself comfortable in Christian Inspiration. 

I immediatley saw books by so many people whose names alone trigger thoughts of our Savior: Meyer, Chan, Lucado, Lewis, Viola, Moore.  After more than 45 minutes of walking up and down a single aisle in the bookstore, I narrowed my search down to two must haves:  The Christian Athiest by Craig Groeschel and I Am Not But I Know I Am by Louie Giglio.

It's not even fair.  I have to go with Giglio.  (Although I must say that I have since read some amazing reviews on The Christian Athiest and CANNOT wait to read it next.  Have any of you read it?  What did you think??)

I Am Not But I Know I Am. 

That's a pretty busy sentence and I have to admit, I am not even finished with the book yet.  I am marinating in it; soaking in each page; underlining and highlighting as if my life depended on it. 

Giglio tells the story of Moses on the mountain when God appears in the form of the burning bush.  At the end of the encounter, Moses asks God what he should tell the people?  Who should he say he heard from on the mountain.  God's answer simply is, "I am."

"I am," in English translates to the verb be.  In other words, God just is. 

He is the beginning and the end.
He is the alpha and omega.
He is the creator.
He is the healer.
He is the pefect One.
He is...

And we are not. 

I can't wait to finish reading my book.  I think I know where it is heading and I will tell you more about it when I am done. 

But until then, I have already gotten so much from it. 

We all think we are so important with our families, our careers and our responsibilities.  I saw this so clearly at the airport this week when I was traveling for work.

The minute that the airplane hit the tarmac, people immediatley turned on their cell phones, iPhones and Blackberries and starting checking voicemail and email.  As if two hours away from email could cause the world to crash. 

I saw it in the terminal too.  People talking on their phones like the whole economy depended on that particular call.  They walk around in circles talking and making faces as if to illustrate their frustration at being stuck in a menial airport...but proud they can still work.  They see me watching and nod as if to say, "Don't worry; you'll thank me later for the very important decision I just made on this very important phone call becuase I am a very important business person."

I actually laughed.  No really...I laughed out loud. 

Then I got sad for them. 

I thought about how wrong they were.  Didn't they know?

Didn't they know that God was in complete control? 

He is.  His name is I Am, afterall. 

We are part of His plan...not the other way around. 
We need Him...not the other way around. 

He is fully able to accomplish the plan of our lives...whether or not we are at an airport terminal.

So the Dow dropped a staggering 1000 points in 15 minutes.  So there was a foiled terrorist attack in NYC.  So unemployment is outta control. 

He still is.

And we still are not.

No matter how many calls we take or how many emails we answer.

We still are not.

I am relieved that I don't have to be.  I am relieved that He knew me before the foundation of the Earth was laid. 

I am so relieved to know that He does not need to me but He wants me.

I Am wants me.


Even though I Am Not.



  1. God has given you so many gifts, and sharing your love through words is one of them. I love you, and thank you for the reminder, sweet sister. Happy Mother's Day!

  2. He is.


    I am so glad He is.

    Even in all of this....I am so glad He is.

    Thank you for the reminder of Him.

    I have been wanting to read that book by Louie Giglio... it sounds like a good read...and I am a lover of bookstores too :)

  3. Hubs and I always joke about how many people must be waiting for organ transplants, because seriously, there really is very little that is THAT important.

    Yet, there's people causing accidents because they can't wait five minutes until they get home to find out who got voted off "American Idol."

    Your words, His words, brings comfort from the idiocy. Thank you.

  4. What a great reminder! I Am has it all under control. And I am so very glad. May we remember to place our trust in Him and not the things of this world. Thanks for sharing!

  5. Beautiful post! Yes, I am not!! I am so glad I am not! ;0) I have a hard enough time being little ol' me! I truly am desperate when left to my own devices.

    Thanks for the book titles... hoping to get some reading done on my summer vacation!

    Tweeting it out for Tweet Me Tuesday! Thanks so much for linking up! ;0)

  6. So true. God is ultimately in control of it all. Helps to keep things in perspective!

    found you via Melinda Means' #TMT!

  7. Great review and loved how you also incorporating a lesson for all of us. By the way when I enter a book store I have to set a timer or will in there all day and only ONE BOOK???? wow, that is self discipline.

    found you vie Melinda Means #TMT

  8. How beautiful!! I'm going to check this out!! It's so awesome how we get reminders all the time that HE IS....but sometimes it takes a little something different to really, truly appreciate it. I'm in SC as a town too small for one of those big stores...but I cherish the smell every time I do get to go in!! Off to tweet this out for Tweet Me Tuesday and check out the rest of your blog as well! Thanks for linking up!!