Wednesday, January 30, 2013

The Great Yoga Debacle


(This post has been featured in my local online newsaper, The Voice of Moore County!!!  Check it out!!)

Today, I tried something new.

Please indulge me for a moment as I tell you about my lunchtime “yoga” session. Allow me to start you off with a few bullets so you can fully appreciate my experience:

· I did not realize that I signed up online for HOT yoga. (FAIL)

· The only thing I drank this morning was red bull and diet coke. (FAIL) (Also, don't judge.)

· The only thing I ate this morning was a hand full of energy trail mix and a little oatmeal. (FAIL)

· I had make-up on my face and hair product in my hair. (FAIL)

As I walked into the studio, with my borrowed yoga mat and over sized beach towel, I noticed I was surrounded by women who were…well, let’s just say “toned” is an understatement. I stepped into the 105 degree room and thought to myself, “How in the heck am I going to survive one hour in this HELL room doing yoga when I can hardly even BREATHE just sitting here?”

I wanted to leave.  I wanted to stay.  Honestly, I was intimidated because these women were like Greek Goddesses with taught tummies and rock-hard gleuts.

Then we started. And the first five minutes were GREAT! I was keeping up. I was breathing. I was downward-dogging and planking and warrior posing like a champ.

Then…all of a sudden. It wasn’t so great. I thought I was going to puke on my yoga mat. 

I stepped out of the HELL room into the nicely air conditioned room where the owner shoved something with electrolytes down my throat provided me with a wonderful drink full of vitamins and electrolytes. He explained that hot yoga is the hardest thing he’s ever done…harder than triathlons even.  Most people have to take a break their first time.  I’m pretty sure he said some other stuff like Namaste and crap….but I was zoning. I had my eye on the air conditioner in the window and nothing else.

Immediately, the electrolytes hit my body and I was like freaking superwoman. I was ready to face the HELL room again.

So I did. And I rocked out the rest out the rest of the session.  And when I say "rocked out," I really mean that I tried every move and didn't die.

At the very end of most every yoga session, the class spends a few minutes meditating. While I was laying flat on the mat, some person (an angel? A heavenly Saint? The Red Cross?) placed a cool cloth on my face and proceeded to massage my neck, shoulders and arms with lavender oil.

It was in that moment, that I fell in love with Hot Yoga.

L.O.V.E.

However, there are a few lessons- learned that I will share with you…in case you, too, decide to try yoga on your lunch break:

1. If you sign up for yoga, know in advance that it is HOT Yoga.
2. Diet coke and red bull do not hydrate your body.  In fact, you might as well just drink chalk.

3. Sweat dripping in your eyes mixed with make-up and hair spray is like taking a can of Lysol and spraying directly into your corneas.

4. When you are done, your hair may or may not look exactly like that lady at The Food Mart who shops in her bath robe and slippers. You know the one.

5. You CAN equally LOVE and HATE something.

And there you have it. My lunchtime hot yoga experience.
I can’t wait to go back.  Seriously, the feeling of walking out of that hot room...my body soaking wet, my mind perfectly clear and an energy that almost doesn't make sense...I loved it.


My Alabaster Jar

1 comment:

  1. sounds awesome and horrible at the same time :)

    ReplyDelete