My Alabaster Jar

One Word

2012-01-05T22:01:00.000-05:00

I'm not big on resolutions. It's just one more thing on my to-do list...or more accurately my NOT to-do list.

For the last several years, I have seen my fellow bloggers choose One Word that sums up his/her goals for the new year. I've been hesitant to participate because I'm not a follower and if I do something, it's usually on my terms.

Don't worry. God is working on me in that area.

For the last several weeks, I have had One Word on my heart. It keeps coming back again and again.

I'm pretty sure this is God's way of saying, "Hey Erin!! You can write about it or not write about it...but I am giving you One Word for 2012."

Intentional.

My heart's desire is to be more intentional with my actions, my words and my time.

When I am with my girls, I want to be intentional in how we spend our time together.

When my husband comes home from work and it's late and I am tired, I still want to be intentional with our little time together.

When I am at work, I want to do my work to the absolute best of my ability.

I want to be more intentional with this space...my blog.

When I am with my friends, I want to focus on our conversation rather than the other hundred things I could be doing.

When I am upset, I want to be intentional about the words I use rather than spout off the first thing that comes to mind.

Moments.

Every moment is a gift. What I do with that gift is up to me.

I want to set a good example for my girls.

So my One Word for 2012 is INTENTIONAL.

"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." Colossians 3:17 (NIV)

Processing

2012-01-04T21:48:00.000-05:00

Hey Ya'll! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!

Can we just take a moment and acknowledge that it's 9:00 and the baby is asleep? Amen and thank you, Lord. Usually her final bedtime is closer to 10:00 or 11:00. Which means mom doesn't have any down time..between work full time and mommy-ing until 11:00. It's a hot mess.

Never let it be said that parenting is easy.

One other thing before I really start the point of this post. Are any of you keeping up with Passion 2012 that's currently going on in Atlanta? If you aren't, I highly recommend this link: http://live.268generation.com/. Please click over and see the Good News that is happening...right now...for about 45,000 18-25 year olds. You can catch Francis Chan, John Piper, Louie Giglio, Beth Moore and others. It's pretty awesome.

So, the last six weeks have been pretty eventful and not just because of the holidays. Right after Reese got her tubes (she is really doing great, ya'll. We've had no issues since the procedure!!!), my grandfather passed away.

My dad's dad, John Yonish.

86 years young, he was a gunner in WWII. The funeral was last week. Dad and I sang Winter Snow because it was fitting to my grandfather's personality: quiet, soft, happy to stay in the background. He lived in a nursing home about 8 minutes from my house.

And I never went to visit him. Not once.

When my grandmother passed away, I was in the 6th grade. She was awesome and I look eerily just like her. After she went to be with the Lord, my grandpa just retreated into his own space. I think he traveled and maybe even moved away for a short time. As an adult, I can see that he was probably an introvert and really enjoyed his alone time. As a kid, it seemed like he just disappeared from my life.

In his passing, I realized that I lost the opportunity to have a relationship with someone who probably had some really cool stories; who probably would have been ecstatic to see my kids; who probably would have loved to meet my husband; who probably would have loved me.

My absent relationship wasn't malicious. I wasn't mad. I wasn't hurt.

I just...kind of...forgot he was down the road.

And that...kind of...breaks my heart.

Inside of my heart, I have been processing his passing. I am sad for what I missed. I feel guilty that I didn't pursue a relationship with him especially in his last several years. I wonder if he was lonely.

I have also been processing the fact that my dad lost his dad the week before Christmas. That can't be easy.

I thought it was pretty cool, though, that my grandpa got to be with Jesus on His birthday in Heaven. I imagine that he and my grandma watched Him blow out his birthday candles together.

After 20 years apart, my grandparents are finally together again. And regardless of what I missed, that reunion makes me happy.

Half Birthday and Surgery

2011-12-11T22:05:00.000-05:00

Today is Reese's half-birthday!

Tomorrow she is getting tubes in her ears. Yeah, I know that's a crappy half-birthday present. But she's had six ear infections in less than 11 weeks. So, maybe it's not so bad afterall.

Since I'm tired and also since we have to at the hospital at 5:30am, I'll just finish this little half-birthday celebration by posting some pictures.

Please pray for her tomorrow....

My favorite from the day :-)

This face kills me...in a good way

Hello chubs

So serious

This-n-That

2011-11-15T21:16:00.000-05:00

It's been almost a MONTH since my last post! How is that even possible?

I guess that's what 4 ear infections in 6 weeks will do for ya....sleepless night, memory loss, temporary insanity. Reese will be going to an ENT specialist tomorrow so we can establish a relationship with a surgeon and hopefully move in the direction of tubes. They don't usually do anything until the baby is six months old but {HELLO} she will be six months in December.

Stop my beating heart. My baby will be six months old next month.

I took that picture for a fabulous photography project that Heidi Monner hosted called The Story Of... Of course I chose to capture The Story of Life During Hunting Season. That pretty much covers mid-September through Thanksgiving...and then some time in January. Unfortunatley, I didn't get to finish the last two weeks of the project due to the aforementioned ear infections. However, I had a GREAT time in the time I was able to particpate. Heidi...thank you so much for hosting that project!

One of the things I captured for the project was our little family trip to the Shenandoah Valley in Virginia. My husband was unable to go so I went with my parents and the girls. Here are some pictures of that trip:

Self-portrait titled The Baby Bjorn View

"look what I can do"

Gram and the Grandkids. Hey kids...stop having so much fun!

So I had a birthday since the last post. Yep. I turned 29. Again. My friends were sweet enough to take me out to celebrate.

I love these girls!

This is how happy I was at the end of the night.

Also, my blog had a birthday. It turned two years old but, sadly, no one took it out to celebrate.

Shame on me.

So what else happened since my last post? OH YEAH!!

Halloween.

And if the previous one hundred pictures were enough...here's one more. Reese was a baby chick. How do you say adorable in baby-talk?

Reese and her Nanny

Aaaaaaand now, we're caught up.

What's that they say about hindsight?

2011-10-17T12:48:00.000-04:00

Oh yeah. It's 20/20.

In the middle of a storm it can be hard to see the road ahead. Even when you are trying really hard and leaning up closer to the steering wheel with the wipers swishing as fast as possible. Then when the storm clears, it's so easy to see the clear path in the rear-view mirror. Where you've been and how you got "here" suddenly becomes clear.

Have you ever been there? Gripping the wheel with sweaty, white knuckles, begging God to help you arrive safely? And the harder you pray the harder the rain falls?

It's not a good feeling.

I've been there recently and I haven't written about it here on the blog. I'm hesitant to write about it now because it has to do with work. I believe that if you complain about your boss on say...Facebook or a blog....then you shouldn't be surprised when you get fired. It's just common sense.

However, I think if I write this from the perspective of the "rear-view mirror," then I can approach this with courtesy and professionalism while sharing what God really did in my heart. And as you will see further down, it's not really about work. It's about God using this situation to do a work in me.

In short, I had a supervisor who exhibited less-than-stellar performance. Without going into very many details, I went to management regarding this situation and was shocked...no, appalled...that they did not agree with me.

My job is not rocket science but it does take some proper training and hands-on experience to understand. Without training, the average person would not understand the intricate procedures or terminology. I thought maybe management didn't understand what I was saying.

Turned out they understood. They just didn't agree. And they thought that I should have not said anything. And they made it perfectly clear that I was in the wrong. And they told my supervisor.

I'm sure you can see how this created a strained work environment for me.

The next few months, were hard. Really hard.

My supervisor did not make things easy for me but management would not let her fire me.

This is the point that I threw my hands up and looked to God and said, "Really? I try to do the right thing and THIS is how you repay me?"

I'm still waiting on that response from God, by the way. There was no response. Just me. In the middle of a storm with seemingly nowhere to go. The wipers couldn't swish fast enough for this storm.

For what it's worth, I interviewed at other companies and was even in negotiations with one in particular. When it came right down to it, I didn't feel good about leaving my situation. I can't explain it to you. To the outsider, I should have left. In my heart, it wasn't the right thing to do.

I kept that scripture in Psalms 121 on repeat in my head:

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

I believed it. With all of my heart I believed it.

So I stayed. And I wish I could tell you that after a few weeks, the situation resolved itself and I got a promotion and received written apologies from everyone involved.

The truth is that the situation stayed the same for 2+ years.

Years.

After some time, I said a prayer that went something like this: "Dear God. I know You know. I'm going to quit trying to figure this out and I'm just going to let you handle it. I'm not going to be mad or hurt or anything. For real God...it's on your plate now."

Not that it was ever NOT on His plate.

People, I kid you not. Within a few weeks of that prayer, my supervisor gave her resignation.

I gave it to Him. He handled it. With a quickness.

My work environment is superb. It's peaceful. It's rewarding again. I do what I love again.

My perspective from the rear-view mirror is pretty clear. I learned that this really isn't about work. It's about the condition of my heart. It's about God taking away any entitlement I think I deserve and replacing it with complete surrender.

I think about Jesus on the cross. I think about how He was tortured, crucified and murdered by the very people He came to save. He didn't do anything wrong and yet, He received the ultimate punishment.

Why should I be different? And yet, any suffering that I endured at work is nothing compared to his suffering.

If you don't believe me, maybe you will believe the Apostle Paul. Please read Philippians 3.

Paul, brother, you took the words right out of my mouth.

I like the view from here. It's not raining anymore and I can see the road...for now.

What about you? Are you struggling to find clarity behind the wheel? Or are you on the other side of the storm?

The Ugly Truth

2011-10-12T16:35:00.001-04:00

It mocks me every day as I am getting dressed.

I know it's there although I try to ignore it.

Over the weeks, it's taunts have gotten louder and louder until...

I must do something about it.

What is this evil thing that torments me day in and day out?

It's my box of pre-maternity clothes. And it is driving me insane.

So here I am, sharing the ugly truth: I need to lose some baby weight. I'm not sure what happened. Somewhere between the pregnancy test and the delivery room I lost all of my will-power. Red velvet became my best friend. Chik-fil-A was about the only thing I could stomach for a long time because of morning sickness. The result?

45 pounds. Ahem...I said it. 45 pounds.

YIKES!!!!

I used to be THAT girl. You know the girl who ate healthy and worked out like a crazy woman. Heck, I could do pull ups like a man before I got pregnant. And now? My doughy body hangs on the bar just begging me to quit and find some ice cream.

In all fairness, I have lost a lot of the weight I gained. I only have 12 more pounds to go. But I have to be honest, I didn't do anything to lose that weight...it just melted off.

So here I am...putting it out there for the world to see. I need you to be my witnesses and my form of accountability.

I have signed up for Weight Watchers. Dang it! I am counting points, baby.

I have quit drinking Diet Coke. No more glasses of wine, either.

I have started CrossFit again...even though I am always the last one to finish.

Maybe if I am brave enough I will take a before picture and post it here. Maybe not...hehe.

This is for real and I am in it to LOSE IT!!! My goal is actually to lose 20 pounds. I would like to weigh less than what I weighed when I got pregnant with Reese. That would put me at a healthy weight for my height and body type. The people at Weight Watchers agree that is an acceptable goal.

So, watch out you evil box of pre-maternity clothes. I will win. I will wear your size sixes and yes, even your size fours. And I will look good and feel good!

There..I've said it. I've written it. Now I just have to DO IT!

When Two Worlds Collide

2011-10-01T08:45:00.000-04:00

Excuse me for a moment while I wipe the dust off of this little blog. How about a cute baby picture since I've been away for too long?

Hello cuteness. I love your face.

Ok...back to the blog.

Wild and crazy things happen when you listen to God. I would just like to throw that out there to start things off.

This blog will be celebrating it's two year anniversary this month. It almost never happened because I thought that the world did NOT need another christian-mom-blog. I'm glad I listened to God and not my own feelings.

Come to find out that the world didn't necessarily NEED another christian-mom blog....but I needed this here blogging community. I went into this thinking that I had soooooo much to offer when really, it was God's way of placing people in my life.

If you are reading this and you are a blogger...you get it.
If you are reading this and you are not a blogger...you might think that I am coo-coo for cocoa puffs.

I assure you that I am not coo-coo for cocoa puffs.

This world of bloggers is a sort of community where we share aspects of our daily lives. Some of us share our children. Some of us share our faith. Some of us share our pictures.

All of us share our hearts.

If you read any person's blog for a period of time, you see the world through their eyes. You get to know them. You comment on their posts and they respond.

At some point, a relationship is formed and that person becomes a friend.

That is when it happens...when two worlds collide.

The online world collides with the real world.

Is there a difference between an online friend and an in-real-life friend? (The technical term for that is IRL...in real life. It's blogger jargon. Super fancy, huh?)

This summer, I was lucky enough to spend two days with a fellow blogger. She was on vacation in Tennessee with family and drove 7 hours (one way!!!!) to meet me in person. We hung out on my front porch...rocking the baby, talking, listening to the wind blow.

You know those awkward silences when there is nothing to say? We had none of those.

I hijacked these pictures from Reese's facebook page.

Reese and Reese (no relation)

Reese, Reese and Kelsey

Erin, Reese and Reese

This girl? She confirmed to me that this world of bloggers is made up of real people...with real hearts...and real friendships. Meeting her was awesome. We will meet up again even if I have to trek all the way to Oklahoma with two kids in tow.

I've noticed that many of you have touched on this subject in your own writings. I wonder if these feelings were brought to light through the passing of sweet, sweet Sara. How do you tell someone that your heart is broken about the loss of someone you've never met in person?

I tried explaining it and I got all sorts of crazy looks.

So I'll just say it here.

This community that we have made? I am so proud to call you friends. Wild and crazy things happen when you listen to God...wild and crazy things.

I'll leave you with one more cute baby picture...just for good measure. I mean, who doesn't love baby drool?

So serious!!!!

Going Back

2011-09-05T21:16:00.000-04:00

I cannot believe that it has been twelve weeks since Reese was born. At the same time, it feels like she has been with us for so long.

Tomorrow marks the end of my maternity leave. I will be going back to work full time.

I know, without a doubt, that this is the right decsion for me and my family. I like my job. I like to work...and I am ready to go back.

It is, however, sad for me. I think of all the things that might happen in those nine hours that I am away from my baby girl. I wonder if she will wildly laugh for the first time or roll over for the first time while I am at work.

I can't dwell on that though...because my place is at work. I can tell you that the last twelve weeks at home has confirmed that.

The good news is that I don't have to worry about Reese while I am at work. She has the best sitter EVER! Can I tell you how The Lord works?

About eight years ago my friend, Lauren, was looking for a part-time job and a guy at work was looking for a part time nanny for his five kids. It was a match made in heaven. Not only did Lauren nanny for his family, they BECAME family. Over the stretch of eight years, their families sort of merged. I was so happy that it worked out for the both of them.

This past June, that family moved two states away due to a job transfer. Lauren was looking for work and I was looking for childcare for Reese. Did I mention that she lives four houses down from me? Did I mention that I have known her since the day she was born?

So she is going to keep Reese for me and Kelsey will off the school bus at her house. I couldn't have imagined a better situation for our family. God works behind the scenes. He works out our problems sometimes before we even know about our problems.

I would be an absolute nervous wreck if I had to leave Reese with a stranger tomorrow...or if she was one of ten kids at a daycare. (Not that I have anything against daycares. Kelsey was a daycare baby from six weeks until she started kindergarten.)

But I don't!

She will be with a friend and I will be at work.

It's the end of our twelve weeks but it's a new beginning...and I am excited!

Carthage

2011-08-17T16:04:00.000-04:00

It's where I live.

Maybe you've heard of it.

On March 29, 2009, a very angry man walked into a nursing home and killed 8 people.

It happened in my town...in my zip code.

I'll never forget that Sunday morning as long as I live. We were in church and the preacher announced that there had just been shooting down the road and there were fatalities but we were given no other details. As the day progressed, we learned that seven elderly residents and one nurse were killed. The shooter was taken down by a young, small-town cop but he lived; the cop was also shot but he was going to be ok.

And just like that, our quiet town was thrust into the national media.

Here we are more than two years later and we are in the news again. The shooter is on trial at our local courthouse and the media has once again descended on our little town.

This morning, I had to go across the street from the courthouse to get a copy of Kelsey's birth certificate. I've needed to get it for weeks but kept putting it off.

I didn't want to see the circus surrounding the trial.

But I did.

I saw the news trucks from every major channel. I saw their tall satellites and their tripods set up on the sidewalks. I saw the reporters waiting in the wings to get the story. I saw sheriffs guarding the parking lot where the jury bus was located (they are busing in a jury from three counties away because the defense did not think the shooter could get a fair trial from members of his own community).

And my heart was so heavy because I knew what was going on in that building.

I knew the expert witnesses were giving testimony and that the families were reliving the last day of their parent's or grandparent's lives. They were seeing and hearing things that no person should ever see or hear about people they love. I knew that the man was sitting at the defense table in the same room with the families. I knew the jurors were there to make a decision: life or death. Just regular people that got a letter in the mail summoning them for jury duty.

I knew that the shooter's family was also there hearing about the things he did. Their son; their brother. The person that shares their DNA. The person that they undoubtedly still love.

No matter the verdict, there is no winner.

And our little town will be lost in the madness. People will not know about the history of our town. Or the festivals that we celebrate each year. Or that some of the greatest people live here.

It's just sad. And I didn't want to see it today.

Sisters

2011-08-16T12:48:00.000-04:00

She waited a long time to become a big sister....and she is REALLY good at it! This picture melts my heart. I hope they always love each other like they do now.

{Unedited cell phone picture}

When You Have A New Baby...

2011-08-14T20:43:00.000-04:00

...all you want to do is snuggle with her.

...washing bottles becomes your new hobby.

...laundry is done on an as-needed basis.

...showers become a luxury and having time to shave your legs is like taking a mini-vacation.

...emotions. wow. the emotions.

...exhaustion. wow. the exhaustion.

...your ten-year-old girl all-of-a-sudden seems like a mini mommy.

...grocery shopping is impossible.

...your stomach looks like it belongs on an overweight, elderly woman with all of it's saggy softness.

...you are amazed that you can love someone so much, so quickly.

...all of the blogs your dream of writing never come to fruition...like the projectile poop; that would have made an awesome blog.

...there is nothing you won't try to make your baby stop crying.

...you become stealth-mommy during the night feedings by moving around, fixing bottles and changing diapers in the dark.

...you are reminded of the greatness of our Creator when she smiles at you for the first time.

...your heart expands every day to accommodate the happiness she brings you.

Our New Addition

2011-06-28T11:12:00.000-04:00

Life around here sure has changed a lot over the last couple of weeks!

...tiny toes

...lullabies

...that infant smell

...sweet little cries

We welcomed Miss Reese Ann into the world on 6/11/2011b at 2:57am EST. She weighed in at 6lb 11oz and was 19 1/4 inches tall.

(Did you get that? She was 6/11 on 6/11...cool huh?)

We are so in love with this girl. At 17 days old, she generally only wakes once per night to feed and then goes right back to sleep.

And she fits so perfectly into our family. It's like she's been with us forever.

I will share her birth story and more pictures in another post.

The last trimester of my pregnancy was pretty hard for me. Thankfully, I didn't have any physical complications but I was just so exhausted. I worked until the day before she was born. It was hard...really hard. My poor family hardly got home-cooked meals those last few weeks. Blogging was the last thing I felt like doing. I did keep up with all of you, though! I read and wished I had the energy to update my own space.

The good news is that I am on maternity leave from work until September! I am excited to get back to writing and being a little more active online. I am also excited because I get to spend the WHOLE SUMMER home with Kelsey. She is ten and this is the first time I have ever been able to be a "stay at home mom" with her. It's going to be a monumental time for us...even if all we do is stay home and hold the baby :-)

Ch-ch-changes

2011-02-17T11:49:00.000-05:00

About two months before Mark and I got married, we decided to buy a house. Not just any house, though. It was my parent's house and we decided, in all our infinite premarital wisdom, to gut and remodel the house.

Did I mention the wedding?
And did I mention that we were living in the house at the time of the remodel.

It was awesome and, three years later, the house is totally finished.

Actually, that's a lie. It is NOT awesome to live in a construction zone and we are far from finished.

When I found out I was pregnant, I knew that we would have to devote our attention to the third bedroom to get it ready for the baby. Right now, it's a TV room/make-up room/catch-all for things that don't otherwise have a home.

It's also the room that was my bedroom when I was in high school. My graduation tassel still hangs proudly from the ceiling fan.

I started the arduous task of cleaning out the closet last weekend. Amid the old plumbing fixtures, Christmas decorations, wedding gifts (yes, I said wedding gifts...shame on me) and outgrown clothes, I found treasures from my high school days.

The ribbon that I used to hang flowers upside down in the dark so they would dry-out.

This is where I hung the first dozen roses I ever recieved from my boyfriend in the 12th grade.

An original Janice Joplin record.

My poster of the story of Ruth. I loved this story in high school not because of the beautiful relationship that Ruth had with Naomi...but because Ruth didn't blindly follow the status quo...and because Ruth was a woman who had a whole book in the Bible names after her. I was such a rebel.

And quotes. Pages of quotes.

It was as if I stepped into a time-machine and caught glimpse of the person I was when I was 17 years old.

I forgot about that girl.

That girl who was so sure that the world was against her.

That girl who was determined not to be anything like what people expected of her.

That girl who was angry and thought that teenage love was so real.

I remind myself of Belle from Twilight (cliche, I know.). I didn't love many people...but when I did, I loved those people with a vengance.

I also over-analyzed everything. I viewed myself as a 20th century Transcendentalist (think Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry David Thoreau). One of my favorite quotes was from HDT and it was #1 on the list I found in my closet:

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away."

-Walden by Thoreau

I still love this quote...but for different reasons.

I am saying all of this because the person that I am today is so not that person anymore. It's funny how life has a way of smoothing the edges, of refining, of teaching. I don't see things in black-and-white anymore. I understand that things are not always what they appear to be and that sometimes, there is a place for both conservatism and liberalism.

This also parallels with my recurring thoughts regarding this blog...this space where I write about things that I believe to be true.

I don't believe that I am the same person who started this blog in 2009. I feel like I have been crushed and rebuilt. My passions have changed. My goals have changed.

I am sure that being pregnant has something to do with these feelings. But I also feel that growing and maturing plays a part as well.

Oh, I still want everything I do to be for His glory. But I am figuring out that it might not always look the way I imagined it. I can take pictures for His glory; I can wash the dishes for His glory; I can parent for His glory.

It's not all pomp and circumstance. Sometimes it's quiet and unannounced. But that's life, isn't it?

If you have read this blog from the beginning, maybe you already noticed the change.  And if you keep reading, you will probably see more and more changes in my thoughts.

Nothing drastic, mind you. Just a different approach...and different perspective.

Because in the end, He changes us every day. We are the potter's clay and if we are living with His hands wrapped around us, then we are continually evolving.

I will leave you with another quote that I found on my list. I am sure that I had no idea who she was when I orignally read this. I am sure that, had I known, I would have kicked it to the curb. But it just goes to show you God is over all even when you are trying to ignore Him.

"Love is the seed of all hope. It is the enticement to trust, to risk, to try, to go on."

- Gloria Gaither

My grownup self realizes that she probably wasn't talking about teenage love. And I love that it was there the whole time...and I never even knew it.

I'm Back...with big news!!!

2011-02-11T10:11:00.000-05:00

Oh! Hi! Remember me?

I'm the girl that used to blog here pretty frequently.

I didn't mean to take a month off. It was never my plan. Somehow between working full time and maintaining a household and being 5 months pregnant, my blog fell by the wayside.

I haven't even been carrying my camera with me much. Bummer :-(

But I plan on picking up right where I left off.

Because I blog for me.

And I snap pictures for me.

I refuse to let a silly little thing like exhaustion keep me from doing the things that I love.

So I have some news!

I am 22 weeks pregnant and Monday we had THE BIG ULTRASOUND!!! I have been dying to share this news with ya'll. If you follow me on facebook, then you already know.

We are having a GIRL!!!!

Which is totally awesome except for the fact that I just knew this was a boy....so I bought *a few* blue things.

Ok a lot.

But that's fine becuase now I get to start all over again and start buying the cute pink outfits and hair bows and shoes. This is so much fun!!

We even started talking about baby names. There are a few we love but nothing for sure yet.

Now that I know it's a girl, I am dying to go on Etsy and start buying. But the truth is, I don't even know where to start. I get overwhelmed when I go to Etsy because there are so many great shops.

If you have a favorite Etsy shop, PLEASE tell me about it. I am looking for baby girl items...ALL OF THEM...hehe.

Wow...it feels good to be back. I have really missed ya'll!!

The Year That Will Not Define Me

2010-12-31T22:57:00.000-05:00

It's the day of recaps. Tis the season to look back at the last 365 days and remember the moments that defined a year. So many of you have written about the highlights of 2010 on your blogs. I have really enjoyed reading about where you have been and where you are going in 2011.

I am spending New Year's Eve at home this year...blogging. Quite literally. I am typing with 90 minutes left in the year.

Cut me some slack people...I'm pregnant. The fact that I am still awake is a small miracle.

I wasn't going to write one of these end-of-year posts because I don't think my 2010 can compete with some of the coolness that ya'll experienced. And...to be honest, I'm kind of glad to see it go.

Don't get me wrong, some pretty cool things happened this year:

I got my first good camera and really discovered photography.

I took my girl to see Casting Crowns AND Taylor Swift.

I spent Saturdays with my best friend and her girls at the lake during the summer...and we laughed and laughed till it hurt.

Charleston. (Oh Charleston...I love you.)

My husband and I celebrated our three-year wedding anniversary.

But for the most part, 2010 was hard. Really hard.

I've written about all of it here on my blog. You all know...

So, good riddance to 2010. I refuse to let you define me! You tried to steal my joy. You tried to make me bitter.

It didn't work.

I still look to The One who holds me in the palm of His hands. I still trust Him even when my plans fall apart.

2011 is going to be great! Our newest arrival will make his/her debut in June!! I will work on a photography business by starting small.

But even if 2011 isn't exactly what I plan...I will still look to The One who holds me in the palm of His hands. And I will still trust Him even when my plans fall apart.

I pray that 2011 brings you joy and peace. And that your dreams come true. And even if they don't...I pray that you will still look to Him and trust.

2010-12-22T13:56:00.000-05:00

Today, while we are all doing last-minute shopping, baking, crafts with the kids, stressing out over the arduous chore of gift-wrapping...a mom and a dad in the next town over is burying their 28 year-old only child. A 10-year-old girl will attend her mother's funeral this afternoon.

I knew her. We worked together when we were pregnant with our girls all those years ago. She was a single mom like I was for so long. Even though we weren't super-close, we stayed in touch. I was floored when I heard the news.

It was a car accident that took her life...on her daughter's birthday.

I get mad when things like this happen because I think that no 10-year-old girl should experience this kind of loss...on her birthday....during the week of Christmas. I can't help but think about all the "firsts" she is going to experience in her life without having her mother there to help her.

But at the same time, I know that God's ways are better than ours and He gives is stregnth to cope.

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40: 28-31 NIV)

It still doesn't make it easy.

Please pray for this family.

And after you are done praying, please hug your kids and tell them that you love them.

Each day is a gift. Let's not forget to be thankful.

Baby Update: 14 Weeks

2010-12-15T09:23:00.000-05:00

Hi Friends!

It's been a while since I updated you on the status of the pregnancy and...

...Things are going GREAT!!

I am 14 weeks and my baby bump is slowly turning into a baby mountain. That thing they say about showing faster and bigger during your second pregnancy...it's TRUE! This baby is growing leaps and bounds faster that I thought. And I am so thankful for that!

Now that I have ~~finally~~ hit the second trimester, I have more energy. I can actually stay up past 9:00 in the evenings! Because I work full time, I can't nap during the day so I get all the sleep I can during the night. I average about 10-11 hours a night.

The nausea is still there but not as bad. I take the miracle drug, Zofran, everyday and it helps tremendously with the nausea.

I think we will find out the sex in January; I go back to the doctor on January 8th and he MAY do the ultrasound then. I am HOPING that he will do the ultrasound then. I have a very strong suspicion that this a boy...very strong. I am carrying the baby so much lower than I did Kelsey and I feel different. But it truly doesn't matter...I am just praying for a healthy baby.

I wish I had a picture or something fun to go along with this update. Maybe the next time I will have a better ultrasound picture or a tummy-shot.

Thanks for all your prayers! Please keep praying!!

Xmas...it's Greek to me!

2010-12-09T10:37:00.000-05:00

I am a fan of MercyMe on Facebook and in real life. I love MercyMe. Love.

Recently, the lead singer, Bart Millard, updated his Facebook/Twitter status about a Christmas show cancellation. The status said:

“Also for you Greenville, Tx folk. We are not doing our Xmas show this year. Taking a break.”

Let's just say that following comments weren't so nice. People were not worried about the canceled show...they were upset that MercyMe had the audacity to use the term Xmas!

Don't Cross out Christ from Christmas!!
Jesus is the Reason for the Season!!!

I felt bad for Bart. He lives his life for Christ every day and his usage of the term Xmas is no indication of the "condition" of his heart.

Even my own preacher made a comment about how Xmas removes Christ from Christmas.

Christians, although well-intentioned, appear to be misinformed when they make comments like that.
Now I will be the first to admit that there are probably people who write Xmas simply to avoid writing Christ. There are people who would rather have a Holiday Party than a Christmas Party. There are people who find the Nativity Scene offensive.

There are always those people; there WILL always be those people. But Bart's not one of them. And actually, the history of the term Xmas is (brace yourselves) FROM THE CHURCH!!!

I'll give you a minute to catch your breath :-)

Let's rewind about 2000 years when parts of the New Testament were being written and recorded. From 50 AD to 100 AD, the scholarly language of the time was Greek and so most of this portion of The Bible was written in Greek. The earliest Greek symbols for Christ was cristoV where the first two letters were chi (c or C) and rho (r or R).

So the symbol for Christ in the Greek became XP and was later shortened to just X.

In the fifteenth century, Johannes Gutenberg invented the printing press. Because the words were set by hand, the cost of printing was extremely expensive. The church, in an effort to reduce production costs, used the abbreviations X for Christ and Xmas for Christmas.

It's similar to 1 and one...they look different but they mean the same thing. I admit...it would be kind of funny if there were a group of people who protested the use of the word one and other number-words because they thought there was an evil consipiracy to rid the world of numbers. (Muahahahahah.....)
The truth is, that we have to be careful. There are bad things in this world...but Xmas isn't really one of them. Especially now that we know the background.

The Bible says that we are to be "in the world but not of the world," (John 17:9). If we separate ourselves too much from the world...how can we be in it? How can we let our light shine if we are so busy making assumptions and fretting over silly abbreviations. Seriously...aren't there bigger worries in the world?

John 13:35 says, "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another," (KJV).

Love.

That's what separates us from the world. Not Xmas or Christmas.

Fellow-Christians...let's pick and choose our battles carefully. And let's be sure that we are educated on our battles before we try to fight them...otherwise we come away looking intolerant and close-minded and well...sometimes just plain silly.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

2010-11-25T11:36:00.000-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving, Friends!!!

I am linking up with Mallard Cove Mommy to complete my 25 Days of Thanksgiving Challenge. Some of my posts will have pictures and some will not. I realized that part of my hurdle was coming up with a picture for every post....so I am going to bend the rules :-)

Day Seven: The Beach

I remember the going to the beach as a teenager and sitting in the sun, with the sounds of the waves crashing in the background, thinking, "It doesn't get any better than this." I still feel that way. The ocean is therapeutic to me...I feel rejuvenated just by being in close proximity to the shore. This picture is from our vacation this past summer.

Day Eight: The Mountains

They are equally as therapeutic to me but for different reasons. When I stand on the beach and look out to where the sky meets the water, I am amazed at the enormity of my God. When I am in the mountains, I am amazed at the creativity and majesty of my God.

Have you ever been to the Great Smoky Mountains in October? We are blessed to be able to go every year for our wedding anniversary. The bluegrass music, the smell of the wood-burning fireplaces, the crisp cool air...I just soak it in! It's not really fall yet until we get our fill of the mountains!

Day Nine: My Husband

Mark is one of those complicated people that may seem quiet or even rude to a stranger, but he's really not either of those things. He is a thinker and he understands people. He is one of the smartest people I know but he still has the ability to think like and connect with children. He loves me and Kelsey more than we could have ever imagined. He met Kelsey when she was 4 and she is every bit his daughter as she is mine.

He is the epitome of "man." He owns an outdoor/hunting/fishing store and every November, he goes on a month-long hunting trip. I love that he has a hobby (and livelihood) that he enjoys.

More important than all of that, though....Mark has a heart for God. He doesn't wear it on his sleeve but he fiercely loves his God. I am thankful that God gave me a husband that has priorities and passion.

(This picture is of the three of us on "our" wedding day in 2007 and is courtesy of Alex Rowland Photography.)

Day Ten: My Parents

I was a terrible teenager. I thought I was smarter than everyone and I had the whole world figured out. Think of the story of the Prodigal Son in the bible, place it in the mid to late 90's and change it from a son to a daughter...and it's my story. I remember one day my dad said, "I think I understand why some animals eat their young." Yeah. He still says that sometimes.

But regardless of what I did or what I didn't do...my parents always loved me and they were always there when I came running home. They didn't always like who I was...but they always loved me.

I am thankful for my parents!

Day Eleven: My Mother In Law

Let me tell you about Joann. In a word...she is awesome. The first time I ever met her was two days after Mark and I had our first date. Mark invited me to his family home for Sunday lunch. I think I missed the part where he said EVERYONE in his family would be there...all 25 of them!! I was a bit overwhelmed but Joann made me feel so at-home. She hugged me and treated me like the rest of the family. This might have been the day that I fell in love with Mark...when I saw him with his family. I think she mentioned something about me being her future daughter-in-law. We laugh about it now.

I never knew that I could love someone else's mother the way I love Joann.

She facilitated my wedding. She designed, planned, purchased, worked, decorated...and pretty much gave me a dream wedding. She comes over to my house the week after Halloween and decorates my house for Christmas because she knows that I don't like to do it. She calls me almost every day just to check in. If I am sick, she asks if she can bring me anything. If I am tired, she encourages me to rest.

Because I can't find a decent picture of Joann, I'll show you what she created for my wedding reception. Isn't it beautiful?? It was held in an old horse barn that was restored as a community center (of sorts).

(Photo courtesy of Alex Rowland Photography)

Day Twelve: Elf

Elf...as in the movie. Maybe I am only thankful for this now because...tis the season. But I really love this movie. It makes me laugh. It puts me in the Christmas spirit. And really...what's better than a Will Ferrell movie? If it weren't Christmastime...this entry could have easily been Anchorman. Don't be a cotton-headed ninny-muggins! If you haven't seen this movie...grab a bottle of syrup, some previously-chewed gum and your best Will Ferrell impression and WATCH IT!!!

Day Thirteen: My Nephews

One belongs to my sister and the other belongs to Mark's sister. I love watching these boys grow and develop their own little personalities. I am thankful for these boys!!!!!

This is Kameron! Kameron is funny. He loves Spiderman with a passion. You watch out...he is going to be famous. The kid could clap on beat before he was one and he can sing like nobody's business.

This is Luke!! See that personality?? He loves to laugh and is one smart cookie!!! I took this picture on the day of his Baby Dedication at church. I think he knew he was the star of the show!!

Day Fourteen: My Girlfriends

Never underestimate the importance of good girlfriends...and I have the best! I have a group of five girls that I can call any time of day and I know they will be there for me. We love scheduling our Girl's Nights Out complete with high heels, baby sitters (usually our husbands), good food and drinks. We talk, we laugh and sometimes we cry. I love these girls! I depend on these girls! We balance that awkward place between motherhood and the people we were before we were mommies. I am thankful for my friends!!

Day Fifteen: Diet Coke

Yes. I am thankful for Diet Coke.

Day Sixteen: My Sister

We are four years apart and I would say we argued from the time we were born until we were both adults. Oh we bickered. A lot. But you let someone else say something against the other and defended each other tooth and nail.

As adults, there are still times that we don't see eye-to-eye but I love her and respect her. She has my back and I have hers. We keep each other's secrets and we laugh at each other. I am thankful that I have a sister. I couldn't imagine life without her...it would sure be boring!

Day Seventeen: My Church

I love my little church. I love our preacher. I love the members. Of course there are times that I wish we went to a bigger, more contemporary church but our little group is special. We do what we can do for God. We dream big and try hard. My church family is there for me when I am having hard times...I know they pray for me and I know they love me.

Isn't our church pretty?

Day Eighteen: Zofran

My total thankfulness for this medication has only been recent. Without it....I have morning sickness 24-7. With it...I am NORMAL!!! It's wonderful. I can work and eat and exercise without hurling all over the place.

Thank you, God...for Zofran.

Day Nineteen: Lesley and Ashley

Meet my cousins from South Carolina!!! That's me in the middle. They are more like best friends than family. I get misty-eyed when I think about how special they are to me. They love me, they love God and they love Kelsey. We are all very close despite the physical separation. One day, I think we will all love closer together but until then, I treasure the times we get to spend together.

I love them. LOVE. THEM.

Day Twenty: Casting Crowns

I know they might be a little too rockin' for some of you...and that's ok. I will never forget the first time I heard one of their songs. It wasn't long after Mark and I got married. I was driving down the road and "Who Am I" came on the radio. I can't believe that I even heard it on the radio because at that point, I rarely listened to Christian music. But I heard....and I mean I really heard it.

I heard these words, "Who am I, that The Lord of all the Earth, would care to know my name, care to feel my hurt." I would say what happened after I heard this is a blog post on it's own. But it got my attention...and I never looked back.

This picture is from their concert this past April in Greensboro, NC. In fact, this is the concert they used to film their DVD. If you look, you can see me and Kelsey and the rest of our group.

Day Twenty One: This Blog

Well, really this outlet of expression and all of you...who read, respond and who also blog. This is a community of people (mostly women) who share thoughts, insecurities and encouragement with one another. If you are a member of this community, then you know what I am talking about. If you aren't, you may be wondering how people who have never met can possibly have a profound impact on someone else's life...but it is possible and I am thankful for you.

Day Twenty Two: Sleep

So at this point in my pregnancy, I am very thankful for sleep. I get about 10-12 hours a night right now. I work full time so I cannot nap during the day but I make up for it at night. Poor Mark works late and doesn't get home until 7:30 or 8:00 some nights and I hit the bed not long after he walks in the door.

Day Twenty Three: Our Servicemen and Women

I am blessed to work in a field that daily remembers the sacrifice of our servicemen and women. Not only those in active duty, but also those in reserves, the National Guard, contractors and civil servants. They fight, they miss their families, they train, they see tragedy...and sometimes, they don't come home. They do all of this so that you and I can go to church where we choose and so that we can vote. They sacrifice for us and for our children. I am thankful for each and every one of them.

Day Twenty Four: My Life

I know this is cheesy....but I love my life....my job, my family, my friends, my house, my car. I am thankful for all of these things. I know, this is even a little sugary-sweet for me but I love this mess. I love that I can kick back, and enjoy what God has given me.

Day Twenty Five: The Cross

It's where Heaven and Earth collided in a battle of the ages. The place where Jesus was brutally tortured and murdered so that you and I could have everlasting life. The pinnacle of love and a slap-in-the-face to the devil. I point to the cross when I am having a bad day or when I need a reminder that God saw me, remembered me and still loves me.

Constant Change

2010-11-17T16:54:00.000-05:00

Constant Change.

It sounds like an oxymoron but it perfectly explains where I'm at lately.

When it feels like you can't count on anything, you can absolutely count on change.

My body is changing. This baby bump is growing every day. My favorite outfits from last week may or may not still fit this week. I guess that's what happens when you are 9, 10 or 11 weeks pregnant.

Yeah. That keeps changing too. The baby is measuring small but the calendar says that I should be 11 weeks. I'm going with 11 weeks for a few reasons. Mostly, I just like the way it sounds. It also makes me feel better because I look like I am 11 weeks along. This could change when I go back to the doctor on Monday for another ultrasound.

Constant Change.

It's the middle of November. My Christmas tree is already up. Thanksgiving is NEXT WEEK!!! It seems like I just wrote this post last week. I just blinked and six weeks passed. Time never stops...

I think there is some comfort in that, too. Mountains and valleys only last for a season.

Constant Change.

I have withdrawn from Facebook and Twitter considerably over the last eight weeks. Social networking has taken a backseat to my real life. I am just so tired when I get home from work that I can barely put dinner on the table before I hit the bed.

Who am I kidding? I rarely put dinner on the table. My husband had a peanut butter sandwich for dinner last night. Bless his heart...

Don't even get me started on photography. I still haven't finished editing the wedding pictures that I took three weeks ago. Even so, God seems to be blessing it! I have a session scheduled for this Saturday and two sessions scheduled the following Saturday. I've even been approached about shooting an all-day event next summer!!

I couldn't even spell aperture this time last year...much less understand the concept of it. I never knew that taking pictures would be my passion or a potential career.

Constant Change.

I'm thankful for change. If it weren't for the rain, I wouldn't appreciate the sun so much.

(I realize that I am a lot behind on my 25 days of Thanksgiving Challenge... so be prepared for some serious catch-up posts coming up soon!!)

Before and After

2010-11-11T11:39:00.001-05:00

Pixel Perfect: Before and After Blog Hop

I have been blog-stalking the Before and After Blog Hop over at Pixel Perfect for a while. I am always amazed at the editing skills of the contributors....and there are SO many of them!! I love {love} to see how other creative minds work!

I am very excited to join the blog hop today!! I have been working on a picture that I took in the mountains and I am very proud of how it turned out.

Here is the before:

And here is the after:

After I cropped the yucky barbed wire off the bottom and slightly adjusted the exposure in Adobe Camera Raw, I added one of Kim Klaussen's textures (mytwocents) in PSE8. Then, I added the text, flattened and....tah dah!!!

PS- I will be back to catch up on my 25 Days of Thanksgiving Challenge! It's hard to find time to blog between working full time and going to bed at 8:30!! I forgot how exhausting pregnancy can be!!!

Thankful

2010-11-06T12:56:00.000-04:00

I am continuing with the 25 Days of Thanksgiving Challenge hosted by The Mallard Cove Mommy. To see days 1-4, click here.

Day 5: My Town

It's easy to be biased...my town is beautiful! My husband and I were both born here so all of our family (with the exception of a precious few in South Carolina) live in close proximity. In fact, my parents are four houses down from me....LOVE THAT! So, where do I live? Moore County, North Carolina. There are about 70 golf courses in our community which makes for a gorgeous backdrop. In addition, there is still a lot of farmland. In fact, signs like the one in the picture below are pretty common! (This one was taken across the street from my daugther's school.) The rolling landscape of The Sandhills, whether corn fields, golf greens or tobacco fields, are home to me. Beautiful...quaint...comfortable...I am thankful for my town.

Day 6: My Girl

She should be further up on the list...

Kelsey is quite possibly the coolest 10-year-old on the planet. People say it all the time...she is funny; she is her own person; she embraces her uniqueness. I wish I could have had her confidence when I was 10. She likes to hold my hand while we shop. She gives the best hugs. She is compassionate. She came along at a time when I needed her most....and I didn't even realize it. She grounded me. Maybe one day I'll be able to tell that story with grace. Until then, just know that I am thankful for this beauiful girl...my girl!

25 Days of Thanks Challenge

2010-11-04T15:27:00.000-04:00

Hi friends!! Congratulations again to Jennifer who won the $60.00 gift card from Amazon.com!!

Mallard Cove Mommy is hosting The 25 Days of Thanksgiving Challenge and I am so excited to join her!!! I am late to the game so I'll just jump in and catch up. For every day in November leading up to Thanksgiving, I will post a picture and name something for which I am thankful. My pictures may or may not match my item of thanks...but that's ok.

I like the idea of remembering to be thankful. It's so easy to get caught up in the moment...especially in the days and weeks leading up to the Holidays. I am so blessed...so blessed...and yet, I rarely reflect on these blessings or offer enough thanks to Our Father.

Could I ever give enough thanks? If I devoted every day of the rest of my life...would it be enough?

Day 1: Grace

The beautiful, wonderful, marvelous unmerited favor of our God. Grace loves the unlovable; grace forgives the unforgivable; grace redeems the unredeemable. I am so thankful that God saved by His grace even while I was unlovable; even though I didn't deserve forgiveness. Grace...that saved a wretch like me.

Day 2: Autumn

In case you haven't caught it the other seventeen million I've said this: Autumn is my favorite season. Not only do we get a reprieve from the summer heat but the colors are simply amazing: golden yellows, rusty oranges and bright reds. I have noticed this year (more than any other year) how the sky is different, too. It's like the blue is deeper and sunsets are on fire. Autumn makes me want to wear scarves and drink hot chocolate and read books and decorate my house with pumpkins and mums. I am thankful that God paints such beauty for us...and I'm thankful for the times that I can stop and enjoy His handiwork.

Day 3: My Camera

I realize this it is bit materialistic...but I really do love my camera. She is my first DSLR and she introduced me into the wonderful word of photography. I am thankful for this new creative outlet. There is something exhilirating about seeing something with my eye and capturing it with my lens. There is something even more exhilirating about sharing that image without someone who also appreciates it. I love that I can create tangible memories for people.

Day 4: Music

Have you ever noticed how music can change your mood? How it brings back memories? How it makes you want to dance....or worship? I listen to all kinds of music...like literally...all kinds. From Hillsong to Led Zepplin; from Lionel Richie to Taylor Swift; from Chris Tomlin to Wu Tang; from Beethoven to Reba...I love all music. I am so thankful that my parents sacrificed when I was young so that I could learn to play the violin. I trained for about 10 years. Understanding music, speaking the language of sheet music, is one of the most valuable lesons that I brought into my adulthood. As a Christian, it speaks to me in ways that I almost can't explain. Maybe you remember this post; if not, please read it. I think it sums up what music can do when you allow God to speak through it.

And the winner is...

2010-10-30T20:58:00.000-04:00

Comment Number 5!!!!!

Jennifer said...

First of all, I am so thankful that Jesus died for my sins. I am also thankful for my family and friends.

I really wanted to show the Random.org generator number box on my blog but...I couldn't figure out how to do it. I'm usually pretty good at this kind of stuff but I am very tired right now. So at the bottom of the post, I copied and pasted it to the best of my ability.

Congratulations Jennifer!!! Please email me at erin@erin-brady.com so I will know where to email your $60.00 Amazon.com gift card!

Thanks ya'll...for an amazing year...for your support...for your comment-love...and for your prayers!

True Random Integer Generator

Min: 1

Max: 24

Result:

5

Powered by RANDOM.ORG

Two more days....

2010-10-28T10:48:00.000-04:00

Hi Friends!!

Today is my birthday!!!

And I will probaby have cake for lunch....and again at dinner! And snack. And repeat tomorrow :-)

I went to the doctor on Monday for a check up and everything looks GREAT! I heard the beartbeat and saw that little butterbean flipping around! Measurements show that I am not as far along as I originally thought...but that's ok! I am currently 6 weeks and 5 days and due on June 19th, 2011.

June is a glorious month to have a baby...don't you think?

Just a reminder...you only have two more days to enter my FABULOUS Blog-Anniversary giveaway! Go here and leave a comment telling me one thing that you are thankful for. That's all you have to do! Random.org will select the winner on Saturday, October 30th! I mean...who wouldn't LOVE to have a $60 Amazon gift card? I know I would :-)

A very close friend got married on Saturday and I was able to take a few pictures....actually, I took a LOT of pictures. I will leave you with a few from that day. I hope everyone has a GREAT Thursday and I will be back on Saturday to delcare the winner!!

Let's Celebrate!!

2010-10-21T11:40:00.000-04:00

October 30th marks the one year anniversary of my first blog post. It was a Monumental Occasion for me.

60 blog posts; nearly 400 comments; almost 100 new friends. This has been a ride.

Let's celebrate with a gift...for YOU!

More on that in a moment...

My last blog post caused a bit of a stir. Some of you agreed with my comments to the lady on FaceBook and some of played the devil's advocate. For what it's worth...I LOVE hearing how you feel about these sometimes-controversial topics.

Hailey reminded me that it's only human-nature to be defensive if we think someone is attacking our belief system...which is clearly what I was doing to the lady. That was a real ah-ha moment for me. Sometimes, showing the Love of Christ is so much more important than being right. Thanks for that, Hailey!

Erin said that my post reminded her of that Casting Crowns song, "Stained Glass Masquerade." So, true. And yeah...I LOVE that song. Who am I kidding...I love Casting Crowns in general!

There were so many other great comments...every one of them encouraged me. Click over and read them; maybe they will encourage you too!

Ok, back to the celebration!!!

Because there is a real reason to celebrate....

You girls (and guys) have made this last year so much fun! I can't thank you enough for being there for me through one of the hardest times in my life. Your emails, comments and prayers helped....a lot. Having this outlet of expression was a necessity.

There is another reason to celebrate.

Somebody is pregnant!!!

ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not very far along. I probably shouldn't announce it to the world...considering my history. You can read my history here and here. Oh yeah...and here, too. Ya'll have been there for the bad times and it only seems right to share this good news with you...even if it is early.

I had a doctor's appointment last week but I wasn't far enough along to see a heartbeat. They tested my blood and everything is on track. I think I am about 7 1/2 weeks now. I go back on November 1st for another ultrasound.

I want to believe that this one will be healthy but I am still nervous. Please pray for me. Pray for the baby. Pray for my husband...bless his heart. He's the one taking the brunt of the wild and crazy hormones :-)

So, let's celebrate!

I am giving away one $60.00 gift card to Amazon.com...one dollar for every blog post over the last year!

Hello...Amazon has something for everyone!!!! The coolest thing is that the gift card will be emailed to the winner complete with a claim code so that she (or he!!!) can start shopping right away!!

***In order to enter the giveaway, you must leave a comment describing one thing you are thankful for. One entry per person please! (Anonymous comments have been temporarily disabled and comment moderation has been temporarily enabled.)

Random.org will generate the winner on October 30th!

So let's hear it....

What are you thankful for these days?

***This is not a compensated giveaway. Amazon does not know who I am...I promise. Although it would be pretty cool if they did.***

How NOT to Make Friends

2010-10-07T20:33:00.000-04:00

Hi Friends!

When I started this blog last October, I never in a million years thought that I would make real-life friends as a result. But I did. You girls (and yes, you two guys) are awesome!

I also never thought that I would discover a new hobby. Who knew that I had an inner-photographer? Who knew that I needed a creative outlet?

{ahem...other than God. I love how He works.}

It's amazing what 12 months can do for a girl! Maybe I will do something special later to celebrate.

In the meantime, I have to tell you about something that happened last week. I wasn't going to share this incident online because...well...people read my blog. And that's a good thing!!! But at the same time, when something controversial happens, the last thing I want to do is offend my in-real-life friends.

I read a post this morning by Christy that struck a cord with me. This girl has a heart for God and I so appreciated what she said in that post. Reading it made me realize that I need to share what happened last week.

About 85% of my Facebook friends are active church-goers. They don't all go to my church, but the majority of them walk with Christ in a very real way. One lady, who is older than me and who recently started attending my church, often posts scriptures. Various scriptures...various days.

I began to notice a trend in her postings. Every scripture was based on a woman's place...in her marriage, in creation, in the Body of Christ.

I don't think she was wrong for posting these scriptures because they are in The Bible. But of all the verses to choose from, it really bothered me that she was focusing on the ones that supported the "silence of women."

For those of you who know me, you know that I don't do a very good job of keeping my mouth shut. But I let it go.

For a few days.

Then I couldn't stand it any more. I had to say something. Not because I entirely disagree but because I think there is more to a woman's place than a few statements read without any context.

The scripture she quoted was: A woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man but to remain quiet. 1 Timothy 2:11-12 (NASB).

I wish I could have talked to Paul when he wrote that letter to Timothy. I have so many questions...but I digress.

So I responded to her post. I simply said that I believe that God can use a woman if it's in His will. I cited women in The Bible that were very influential like Deborah, Lydia, Priscilla, Ruth, Mary, etc. In fact, it can be argued that the first two apostles were women since Jesus first revealed Himself to the two Marys after the resurrection. I said that I couldn't imagine a world without Beth Moore or Joyce Meyer. Finally, I shared some studies that I have done on that exact scripture that gave a cultural background into what was going on in Ephesus when this letter was written. The people of Ephesus (non-Christians) worshipped the female God, Artemis. So this culture really put women on a pedestal and actually worshipped them. Timothy was combating a culture that idolized women. Which explains a lot.

Let's just say that my comment did not go over so well. She pretty much told me that my ideas were "junk" and that "I didn't know what I was talking about." She told me that the Bible doesn't teach culture...it teaches salvation.

The love, people. I felt no love.

I admit that I am a very liberal Christian. I wish preachers didn't feel the need to wear three-piece suits on Sunday morning so that people who can't afford three-piece suits didn't feel "less than" because of their attire. I wish that services could be held outside when the weather was particularly beautiful and the fall leaves personified the beauty of our Creator. I wish that Wednesday night services were held at the local nursing home so that shut-ins could participate in church activities. I wish the number of times you attend church per week wasn't such a big deal because how can you reach people in a broken world when you are surrounded by a church full of fixed people every day?

So I am a Christian Hippie. I get it. Not everyone shares my perspective. As far "right" as that lady was on Facebook, I guess I am just as far "left."

Maybe the right place to be is somewhere in the middle. But then again...Jesus was a radical and He didn't walk the middle road. In fact, He pretty much shook up planet Earth from the time He was conceived.

Our Facebook conversation didn't end there. It went back and forth until I told her that I hoped she was better at sharing the love of Christ in the real world because she wasn't very good at it on Facebook.

She hasn't been back to our church since that exchange.

So what's my whole point? Why did I respond? Why am I sharing this (really long) story with all of you?

This conversation is really just a symptom of a bigger problem...and the problem is us. People get ideas of what is right and what is wrong and there is no more room for Grace. If it doesn't fit perfectly into pre-fabricated Christian boxes then there is no room for it in the Body of Christ. I'm not saying she was wrong because she didn't agree with me. I am saying that she was wrong because she was unable to see that maybe...just maybe...I wasn't 100% wrong.

Sometimes, the lines get blurred.
Sometimes, the black and white turns gray.

While we are so busy arguing amongst ourselves about the correct place for a woman...or about homosexuals...or about abortionists...or people who drink....or people who have pink hair....while we argue about these topics, there is a world of dying people....of hurt people...of broken people.
And they don't need to be reminded how hurt, broken or wrong they are. They just need love.

So...wanna know how NOT to make friends? Challenge someone to think outside the box. Challenge one of their basic beliefs and remind them that even Jesus talked to the Samaritan woman at the well.

Okay...I'm going to get off of my soapbox now. I hope that my views don't offend any of you. It's been a while since I have written anything very serious but don't worry, my camera-happy, light-hearted side will be back soon!!

It's like Disneyland for my calendar, baby!!

2010-09-24T19:51:00.000-04:00

Hear ye....Hear ye....

If I were a day I would be Saturday and if I were a month I would be October.

And if I were perfect, I would be a Saturday in October :-)

Saturday has so much potential. It's free with nothing holding it back. It has the ability to be anything. It can be a car wash or a picnic or a movie. It can be a date night or a girls night out. It can be snuggle-time with your favorites or solitary confinement for refocusing.

For people who work regular business hours like I do, Saturday is the gateway to happiness. It is the antithesis of meetings and agendas. It mocks Monday from a distance and requires no alarm clock.

I crave Saturday the way some people crave chocolate or Mexican food.

And then...

Then...when that beautiful weekend collides with October...all is right in the world.

North Carolina in October is just about...well, it is perfect. It's the most delicious combination of warm days and cool nights; of sun dresses and cozy sweaters; of flip flops and new boots; of ice cream and hot chocolate. There is luscious green woven in between pops of bright yellow and rustic orange.

October is a new scarf and a funnel cake. It has the aroma of cinnamon and bonfires. It sounds like rustling leaves and kids laughing.

My friends, next weekend is the official start of my Happiest Time of Year. It's like Disneyland for my calendar, baby!!

I plan to combine my new-found love of photography with my funfilled, October Saturdays. I cannot WAIT to share them with you. And for those of you who have never been to North Carolina, maybe you will fall in love with it through this blog. And from a distance, maybe you can soak in the warmth of the golden sun and relax in the virtual rocking chairs on the porch of this website. But bring a quilt because the nights get chilly!

I can't help but wonder how some people can experience the change that autumn brings and still question the love, the artistic expression or the very existence of our God. It is a whole season of death and yet it is by far the most amazingly vivid season of all. Only God can do that. It is almost as if God created this season as an illustration of our salvation.

And just because I can't leave you without some of my most recent pictures...allow me to share some of my new favorites!!

Watch out...it'll hurt your eyes! (Don't say I didn't warn you.)

2010-09-10T13:24:00.000-04:00

This post has the potential to be all over the place. That's how my mind has been lately. Everywhere.

*Ahem*

Except where it really needs to be.

{What's that you say, boss? You want to know why I am blogging at work? Mmmhmmm...you must have me confused with someone else.}

I am taking an online photography course that Faith over at SIMPLICITY teaches. This is the first week of the class and I have already learned so much. The most significant thing that I have learned is that I still have a lot to learn.

{Let the ego deflation commence}

Not that I really have an ego when it comes to photography...I am so new to it and I know there is a steep learning curve. That's why I was floored when I saw that Faith chose one of my pictures in her i{heart}friday post!!

The assignment was simple. Literally. We were to choose a simple object with very little visual interest and photograph it. I chose a black paper clip and photographed it on a white piece of paper. It's can't get much more simple than that. I shot it entirely on manual but I won't bore you with my ISO, aperture or shutter speed settings.

Oh....you want to see my picture.

Isn't it exciting?

I think it would be awesome hanging on the wall in my office. Maybe I will do a series of office art. My next picture could be staples or pencil lead on a white peice of paper.

Our next assignment is to take a contemplative picture...one that we plan in our head and then execute. Let's just say that this isn't going so well for me. Every day I pass a tobacco field on the way home from work. Just on the other side of that field is a church with a big white steeple. Separating the tobacco field and the church is a graveyard. I have thought about the irony of that scene for months. And for months I have wanted to capture it with my camera.

So, I did yesterday.

And it was horrible. I mean the kind of horrible that when you look at it, your eyes literally hurt.

Oh....you want to see that one too?

It burns the retinas, doesn't it?

Did you notice that I didn't even watermark it? Seriously...if anyone wants to steal this picture...go ahead.

Don't you love how over-exposed that sky is? And how about all that tobacco? I chose the day that they harvested the tobacco to stop and take the picture.

The. same. exact. day.

Had I stopped in the morning, the field would have been full of lucious, big, green leaves.

But now...all I got is sticks.

Talk about irony.

Maybe I had better stay safe with paperclips and staples for now :-)

Faith...if you are reading this, I just want you to know that I am trying to come up with another contemplative shot. Clearly, this one isn't going to cut it.

I honestly had so much more that I wanted to share with you today. You will probably see another post from me this weekend.

And because I don't think I have ever said it, I really appreciate ya'll reading my thoughts and looking at my pictures. It makes me smile to know that I have friends out there...who support me...who encourage me...who pray for me...thank you!!

A Day Like Any Other...

2010-09-03T14:18:00.000-04:00

Today is Friday, September 3, 2010.

It's a day like any other...

I woke up, took Kelsey to school and went to work.

Kelsey is going to the beach after school with her grandparent's for Labor Day.

Tonight I will probably go home, make dinner and hang out with the hubs when he gets off work.

It's a day like any other...

No balloons (pink or blue).

No counting minutes between contractions.

No family members in the waiting room.

No nurses wandering in and out of the room.

No monitors with baby heart-beats in the background.

No nervous anticipation.

No pushing.

No welcoming.

Nothing.

It's a day like any other...

Today was my due date. And even my husband forgot that today was the day.

There is a certain weight that I feel whenever I hear or see the words: September Third.

It could have been so much more than a regular day.

Don't misunderstand. I am not very sad. I am not crying. I am not falling apart.

I am simply reflecting on what today could have been.

I trust in The One who placed the stars in the sky and The One who hung the moon. I trust The One who sent His one and only Son to the cross for my salvation.

I trust in Him.

I trust that when His timing is right...my timing will be right.

I trust that the things that bring us the most pain will ultimately give Him the most glory.

And even though today is day like any other...I still trust.

Charleston!!!

2010-08-30T15:17:00.000-04:00

To say last week was crazy may be the understatement of the world.

Ok, that's a little drastic. It wasn't that bad but was full of ups and downs...mostly ups.

Kelsey started the fifth grade last week and a brand new school. We changed districts and she was forced to change elementary schools with only one year left. Next year she will be in middle school! Thankfully, we aren't there yet.

When we walked in the new school on Wednesday, I could tell she was nervous...but she kept it together. She didn't cry! I, on the other hand, lost it after I left her in the classroom. I was just so proud of her for keeping her cool and not freaking out. I had to hide in the bathroom for like, five minutes. Even the principal stopped me on the way out and reminded me that Kelsey would be fine.

I must be the only dork-of-a-mom that cries on the first day of the fifth grade.

Wednesday was an interesting day for another reason, too. A teenage family-member went to the hospital with stomach pains. I think the initial thought was that she had appendicitis or something. While she was in the ER, they determined she was pregnant. And not JUST PREGNANT but 39 weeks, 6 cm dilated and 100% effaced.

Shock? Surprise? Disbelief? All of the above...

She ended up having a baby girl that night. By the grace of God, she had a healthy baby girl. There are a lot of issues that I won't go into on this blog but I am sure you can imagine that she has an uphill battle ahead of her. Maybe you could pray for her and the family in general. Things like this have a tendency to cause division among people of differing opinions.

On a much happier note, I went to Charleston, SC last weekend to celebrate my best-friend's birthday. Have you ever been to Charleston? The town changes you...for the better. It's like the history seeps into your pores and slows you down. I didn't realize how much I needed that slower change-of-pace in my life. The people, the architecture, the food, the cobblestone streets, the fountains, the steeples...I fell in love with all of it.

It was the best weekend I have had in a long time. There were four girls onthis trip and Charleston was good to us. I can't WAIT to go back.

This is road directly in front of Battery Park overlooking the ocean.

My absolute favorite thing we did was ride bicycles all around Charleston from The Battery to The Market and down to the College of Charelston. It was SO fun...I felt like a kid!! Do you like my orange bike??

I learned that the law in Charleston is that no building can be taller than the church steeples. So when you are going over a bridge or sitting on a rooftop, you can see all the steeples in the downtown area. It is really a beautiful thing to see.

I snapped this one driving (actually, I was riding) down the road through the window :-)

This a view of The Old Market...there is rich history here.

The Battery Park

Me (on the left) and the birthday girl! We were at a Reggae Festival at John's Island and it was HOTTT but super fun!!!

And what's girl's weekend would be complete without taking a picture of yourself in the bathroom? Wait...am I the only one that does that??

The Old Lady and the Tramp

2010-08-18T11:29:00.000-04:00

Have you ever experienced something so shocking that you think to yourself, "I can't believe this is really happening?"

I did. Last night.

Please allow me to share this experience with you.

I've been having pain in my wrist likely due to excessive use of the computer mouse. My mother has worked at a doctor's office for a lot of years, specifically an orthopaedic office, so she suggested that I get a wrist brace to wear at work...where most of my mouse-use occurs.

So last night, she and my dad took me to the drugstore to pick out the right kind of brace. (We are a very close family...what can I say?) Mom picked up a couple of items and then we found the supports. After much comparison and deliberation we finally found the perfect brace and headed to the register to pay.

This is where the real story begins.

The register was empty. There was no cashier to be seen. There was, however, a woman's purse and a Subway bag on the counter.

So we waited...for like two minutes. We figured the cashier was helping someone find an item somewhere in the store.

Finally, the cashier returned to the register...alone. She slid the purse and Subway bag to the end of the counter and began ringing up my mother's items. As mom slid her debit card in the machine and as I was standing in line right behind her, this woman walked up to the counter with a bottle of allergy medicine. She wedged herself in line ahead of me and started reaching over my mom to hand the cashier her medication.

My mother said, "Excuse me, but my daughter was next in line."

The lady, who was probably 75 years old, said, "I was in line before all of you people and I am next. Actually, I was ahead of you (talking to my mother) and you skipped me. I just had to go over there and get something."

***Let me take this opportunity to tell you that I have a big mouth. I am not afraid to say how I feel, often to the detriment and embarrassment of the people with me. Back to the story.***

I explained to the lady that being over "there" meant that she wasn't "here," in line. She barked something back to me and continued to use her body to move me out of her way.

That's when I said, "Wow. You are really grouchy."

She turned around and looked at me up and down. Literally. She started at my feet and moved her gaze up all the way to my head and said to me, "You are a tramp."

She called me a tramp! Those words actually came out of her mouth!

People, I was wearing a back cotton dress to my knees and flip flops. I wasn't dressed like a tramp at all. But I have to tell you...my blood was boiling.

So I replied, "Well, you are old. Really old. You are a very old lady."

By this time, she was done checking out but wouldn't move. She just stood there...staring at me. I handed the cashier my items from the end of the counter and began taking out my wallet...but she was still standing there.

Finally, I said, "I really just wish you would move out of my way. Please move."

She finally moved and I finally paid. Thankfully.

I know what you are thinking...I am a terrible person. I should have ignored her. I should have just quietly let her check out in front of me.

Or maybe you are thinking that I should have tripped her on the way out of the store.

The truth is, that there was a time in my life when I would have said something very mean to her or used foul language. There was a time when I would have made her feel very small. There was a time when I probably would have been so rude that the manager would have kicked me out of the store....forever.

But I didn't do any of those things. I probably didn't handle myself exactly the way Jesus would have but I didn't embarrass myself either.

When it was all over, I felt bad. Not bad for what I said to her. I felt bad because I realized that there was only one sandwich in her bag and that she was probably going home to an empty house. I wonder if our conversation (if you could even call it a conversation) was the only one she had that day.

If I had it to do all over again, I would have offered to pay for her items. Not that she needed money. Believe me. She drove away in a Cadillac. But she probably just needed someone to be nice to her.

Even so...that didn't give her a right to be so ugly.

I couldn't imagine being that...mean and crabby. Ya'll...she exuded ugliness.

As an aside...I really wish that cashier would have stepped up to the plate and admitted that she moved that lady's stuff out of the way and voluntarily began checking us out first. But then again...she was probably afraid of the old lady.

What would you have done or said? I think it was a learning experience for me. And if it was a test, I probably failed miserably.

All I can say is, "He's still workn' on me, To make me what I ought to be."

As of Late...

2010-08-15T21:01:00.000-04:00

As of late...

~I am reminded that each day is a gift~

~My camera is my best friend~

~I am learning that first impressions are not always accurate~

~I dig vintage and I l.o.v.e. reminicising~

~I want to sop up the end of summer like it is the last bite of strawberry shortcake~

~It's more about seeking Him than satisfying my selfish desires~

~Sweet tea and sweeter conversations make me smile~

~God's love is still tangible~

Light and Dark

2010-08-04T11:31:00.000-04:00

The other day, I was driving down the road when I had a thought. I think I was listening to Light of the World from Chris Tomlin's Christmas CD, "Glory In the Highest."

Wait. Am I the only one who listens to Christmas music in July?? I digress.

My thought process is not always logical so please don't require me to explain how I went from singing about the light of the world to contemplating the philosophical implication and overall definition of darkness....but I did.

It's back to 8th Grade Science. Items and colors that we see are a direct result of that object's ability to either absorb or reflect light. (Have I ever mentioned that I was a science major in college through my junior year? I was going to major in biotechnology and genetics. Science is like second nature to me. It makes sense and so, I often think in terms of science.)

We see because of light.

That is worth repeating: we see because of light.

And that day, as I was driving down the road, the word light reminded me of...darkness.

The definition of darkness is the absence of light or illumination.

I was immediatley reminded of the verse in 2 Corinthians 6:14 that says:

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

I think it is ironic that the definition of darkness is dependant on the very existence of light. Remember, darkness is the absence of light.

Not the other way around. Light exists. It fills space and it creates colors. It IS.

The very next verse in that passage in 2 Corinthians says, "What harmony is there between Christ and Belial?"

Belial is the devil in case you didn't know. The devil is also known as the prince of darkness in some Christian folklore.

It must be weird to be the prince of darkness and know that you exist only because there is light.

And that Christ is the light of the world.

If we are born in Christ, then we are a new creation. Part of being that new creation is that the light resides in our heart. If we have light in our heart, then there is no place for darkness...which can only reside where there is no light.

We see because of light.

Maybe it's just me.

That is pretty profound.

And if this has been too heavy for you, please click over to my photography page. I posted the rest of the pictures from my photoshoot last week. That should make you smile. In case you haven't noticed, my nephew has the BEST hair around :-)

Normal is Good!

2010-07-30T10:19:00.000-04:00

Hi friends!

I admit it. I have been a terrible blogger this week. But it has been one of those weeks.

You know what I am talking about. The kind of weeks where SOMETHING is going on every night after work. I love it like this! I really, really do! It just doesn't leave much time for blogging.

Most of you who follow me on Twitter and Facebook already know that I received GOOD NEWS from the doctor's office this week. My pathology report came back normal! I know many of you have been praying for this report. If I could...I would give you all a gigantic hug!!! Thank you!

I love knowing that our blogging community can join in prayer despite being spread across many states and even different countries.

I love knowing that the body of Christ is not limited to geographics or demographics.

If you have a special prayer request, please leave it in the comments {or email it to me at erin(at)erin(dash)brady(dot)com}. If you are going through something or you have a health concern, let us know and we will pray for you, too!!

You know what else I love? Praise reports. Our human nature is so good at focusing on the negative. The glass isn't always half empty! Sometimes, God answers prayers just as He did for me this week. If God has answered a prayer in your life recently, let us know! He blesses us in so many ways...let's praise Him for it!

~~~~~~~

On Tuesday night I did a shoot with my sister-in-law, her husband and their baby boy, Luke. I cannot believe that he is already 9 months old! Where does the time go? I am still working on the pictures but I just wanted to share a couple with you. I am hoping to get several more added to my photography page this weekend.

In case you didn't know, boys like tractors!

Isn't he adorable?

I hope you all have a fantastic weekend!

Don't forget to leave prayer requests and praise reports in the comments!!!

Moving On

2010-07-22T13:23:00.000-04:00

On January 19, 2010, I wrote about my miscarriage.

On May 12, 2010, I wrote about how I thought I was pregnant...but I wasn't.

Yesterday, on July 21, 2010, I had out-patient surgery. It was the surgery that I should have had in January.

Seven months is a long time to be on this roller coaster of knowing that something is not right.

So what's the moral of this story?

If your doctor doesn't hear you when you say that there is something wrong...FIND A NEW DOCTOR. Ladies (and gentlemen), you know your body better than anyone else on this planet. Listen to it. Be persistent.

My doctor apparently found a few polyps (or something...I am not even sure) that he sent off to pathology. This is good because it means that there is a logical explanation to the symptoms that I have been having since January.

I ask for your prayers. Please pray that the pathology report comes back normal. Please pray that the surgery yesterday fixes all that was wrong.

My gut tells me that things will be normal...but still.

Even though all of this could have (and should have) been corrected in January, I know that God had a reason for this to happen. I put my trust in Him.

I am ready for moving on!

As of late...

2010-07-15T12:22:00.000-04:00

As of late...

~I realize that we have a choice~

~I choose happiness~

~I especially cherish my nine-year old...because next summer, she won't be nine~

~my husband makes me smile without even trying~

~I love how The Word changes my perspective~

~red velvet cupcakes are...glorious~

~running is a must due to over-consumption of {previously mentioned} cupcakes~

~Running is no longer torture~

~Laughter medicates~

~I understand that there is no substitue for good friends~

~I see that beauty surrounds me even when beauty is not obvious~

~God's love is tangible~

Redone and Renewed

2010-07-14T15:45:00.000-04:00

What do you think?

Didn't Tracey over at Little Bitty Blogs do a FANTASTIC job of designing my site? If you are thinking of giving your blog a makeover, please go visit Tracey. She is good. Really good.

See my tabs across the top? Check out my photography tab. I just posted a few pictures of my friend's family. These pictures were taken the night before her husband deployed. I think her idea of having portraits made the night before he left was SO SMART!

If you think about it, will you pray for my friend and her husband? In fact, we should always hold up our nations' soldiers in prayer. They sacrifice so much for us.

We made it home from vacation but only because we had to. I could live at the beach. I don't understand why my husband won't buy me a beach house. (Could it be the money? Naaaahhhhh.) When we turned onto our road, I closed my eyes and BEGGED him to keep driving.

Alas. Here I am, back in the real world.

It's not so bad.

I feel very refreshed and renewed.

Although I didn't read as much at the beach as I had anticpated, I did re-read Deuteronomy Chapter 6. Which is one of my favorites.

Verses 5-9 say:

"Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.(NIV)"

That first sentence is a theme in this chapter. The theme continues throughout the Old Testament and makes other appearances in the New Testament. Mark 12:29 specifically refers back to this section when it talks about this being the most important of all the commandments.

The most important of all the commandments is to love the Lord Your God with all your heart.

The most important commandment...

My favorite part of this section from Deuteronomy 6, though, is what Moses says next.

Impress [these commandments] upon your children.

He tells the children of Israel how to accomplish the commandment. Talk about God. Bind it on your foreheads. Write it on the doorframes of your houses.

He tells the children of Israel when to accomplish the commandment. At home and when you are walking. When you lie down and when you get up.

And with that, Moses pretty much covers....everything.

We should impress God upon the hearts of our children when we are home and when we are not home; when we stand and when we sit. We should wear it so that others can see it.

I talk about God to Kelsey. We listen to Christian music. We go to church. We read The Bible together.

But I have a renewed sense of purpose thanks to this verse.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Would you like to join us as we read through The Bible? Just leave a comment and let me know so that I can link up with your posts. We don't have a schedule. We just read and share what God gives us.

My View

2010-07-06T23:29:00.001-04:00

This is the view from our back porch this week.

Which explains my absence. I mean seriously...when the beach is this close to one's bed, the laptop becomes a cruel reminder of the real world.

The world where balancing checkbooks and answering phones and waking up early is the norm.

No...I am leaving that world behind this week.

I would rather make funny faces with my favorite 9-year old. (Do the funny pictures have to be so...unflattering??)

And take random pictures of our toes.

At at the end of every day...thank God for...

creating.

I have been reading Deuteronomy this week, too. This book is Moses' final words to the Israelites before they entered the promised land. He reminds them of how God saved them from Pharaoh and of the miracles that they witnessed and how God always provided for their needs. Moses knew he would not be entering Canaan with the children of Israel due to his reaction to the peoples' unbelief back in Numbers 20. Moses reviewed the 10 Commandments and the laws that God revealed to them over the years. He pleads with the people to obey God and reject idolatry.

That...in itself...is what has stood out to me through the first 8 chapters of Deuteronomy.

40 years is a long time...roughly one entire generation of people. But it is not long enough to forget the miracles that occured in order for the Israelites to be released from Pharoah. Or long enough to forget that God gave them manna to eat every day. Or that he provided water when there was none. For the most part, all of the children of Israel were there and witnessed these amazing events.

They forgot. They waivered in their trust of God. They could not stay focused.

And God still loved them.

In Chapter 4, verse 29-31, Moses says, "But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul. When you are in distress and all these things have happened to you, then in later days you will return to the LORD your God and obey him. For the LORD your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant with your forefathers, which he confirmed to them by oath.(NIV)"

Moses is pleading with the Israelites not to forget. He is pleading with them to love their God.

I can't help but think that this same thing is happening today. God is pleading with people. But not in a fire-and-brimstone kind of way.

I think He reminds of what He has done for us.

I think He gently says, "See. When you didn't know how you were going to pay your bills, I provided."

Or He says, "See. When you thought you were alone, I provided someone for you."

Or He says, "See. When you thought I gave up on you, I was really right there the whole time waiting for you to ask me for help."

We witness His participation in our lives all the time. And, like the children of Israel, we forget.

And though it's not Moses, He usually finds a way to remind us.

I pray that I need less and less reminders. I pray that I stay focused on what He has done for me.

***Public Service Announcement: I am working on my blog's design and I am far (far) from being done. Please bear with me as I play with pages and templates. Thank you***

Time Flies When...

2010-07-01T17:06:00.000-04:00

You know that phrase. Well, I have been having fun!

And time? Itsa flyin' by!

You probably remember that I invited all of you to join me in reading through Deuteronomy. Well, I have been reading...just not as fast as I had hoped.

But you know what? It's ok. Reading His word isn't a chore for me and I refuse to feel guilty over my speed.

My friend, Kim, is reading along with us and wrote a great post on her blog yesterday. I would encourage you to go over and read how the first seven chapters of Deuteronomy ministered to her. She really captured some of the things that stood out to me, too. Wow. I was just reminded of (again) of how God never gives up on His children. Never.

So you may be wondering what I have been doing that is just so gosh-darn FUN??

My friend got married!!!

And she asked me to take pictures.

Well, that might be a stretch. She had a "real" photographer but she knew the professional pictures would take a while to get back. I was tasked with providing pictures for immediate enjoyment and for the newspaper announcement.

And I take my taskings very seriously.

How awesome is this hair-piece? If you knew Drew, you would say, "That is SO Drew!!"

Drew and her dad danced to the very upbeat version of "Save the Last Dance for Me," by Michael Bublé. There is nothing better than that twirly-dress feeling.

Her bouquet was beautiful and smelled....heavenly!

Oh look! It's me (in the center) and my cousins!

There is something seeing a grandfather bent over and dancing with his precious grand daughter that is just heart-warming. Because you know it is uncomfortable for him but the look on her face makes it totally worth it.

I'm a sucker for weddings. I think it's because everyone is so excited for the future; it's a new start. And who doesn't like the chance to dress up every now and again?

I wish Paul and Drew years and years of happiness. I hope they love each other in 20 years as much as they do today. I hope they only fight over silly things like accidentally putting the produce in the wrong drawer in the refrigerator. They will, no doubt, lean heavily on God to direct their path....and He will.

Congrats Friends!!

(Note: if you read in Google Reader, I apologize for the double post. The photos in my initial post were too big on my blog but they looked great in reader.)

Diving into God's Word

2010-06-24T22:29:00.000-04:00

I am so excited that some of you have decided to join me on this journey through The Bible! I am actually overwhelmed by the comments and emails I have received from many of you. Apparentley, the idea of diving into God's Word is something that has been on a lot of hearts lately.

I have learned that it doesn't matter what translation you use or where you start...God will speak to you when you desire to learn more about Him.

I remember trying to read The Bible in years past...before I was really "in love" with Him. It was boring. Repetitive. Out-dated.

But this time? This time is different.

I am reading from The Quest Study Bible in the New International Version. It's easy for me to follow. The NIV was written on a 6th Grade comprehension level. While I am at least on a 7th grade reading level {insert grin} I find this translation easy to follow.

The Quest Study Bible is good for me. There are commonly asked questions in the margins with answers provided. These Q&A's were written by Man and may or may not be correct...but it provides me with an idea of what the author of that particular book was trying to convey. In addition, there are links to similar ideas in other areas of The Bible.

So far, I have read through Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus and Numbers. I am currently on Chapter 8 of Deuteronomy...where so many of you will be meeting me.

I have learned so much already.

My favorite thing so far was in Genesis 18:12 when Sarah laughed at God. God had just told Abraham (Sarah's husband) that she would bear him a child after years and years of infertility...at the ripe old age of 90. Sarah laughed. (I would have laughed, too.)

I can relate to this verse. There have been things in my life that have gone horribly wrong. My plans did not pan out. My friends did not stick around. Life was not perfect. I was not perfect. In these times, the idea that God would turn these events around to benefit me was...incomprehensible...comical...far-fetched.

I laughed at God.

And if God reacted to me the same way He reacted to Sarah, then He looked upon me and said, "Is anything too hard for the LORD ?"

As you probably know...God delivered on His promise to Abraham and Sarah. Just one year after making the promise, Sarah delivered Isaac. (By the way, Isaac means he who laughs. Sarah named him after laughter.) Isaac was the one through whom God delivered His everlating covenant. He was the seed of many nations. The promised one.

Look around you, right now. Look out your window. The sun. The moon. The galaxies that you can't even see. The rain. The snow. The 90 degree heat. God created it all.

He is a planet breather. That is pretty fierce no matter who you are.

The fact that He can turn bad into good (or allow a 90-year-old woman to deliver a healthy child) should be no surprise to us.

Yet it is.

We laugh at the things that God promises us because we forget that He is the Great I Am. And he loves us with a love that is beyond our imagination.

How do I know?

Look at how many times He has forgiven and redeemed you and me. Seriously...if you knew me...you would probably laugh at the fact that He could redeem me.

Even though we laugh, He is capable...He is able...He is.

My next post will be about what I have absorbed from the first few chapters of Deuteronomy. Don't forget...if you decide to join and you post to your blog, just let me know. I will link it back from here so everyone can track along with you.

If you haven't started yet or if "life happened" and you aren't as far along in reading as you had hoped...no worries! This is at YOUR pace. God's Word shouldn't just be another box to check on your "to do list." Let's make this something that we look forward to...something that we treasure.

Thank you for joining me!

Will you join us?

2010-06-20T22:53:00.000-04:00

After my last post on Bible Illiteracy, I recieved a message from my friend Reese asking if she could join me on my study of the Bible. I am so excited to have a friend on this journey with me! If you aren't familiar with Reese's blog, I encourage you to click over and read about her volunteer work at the children's hospital. I love this girl's heart. For real.

So Reese and I are meeting up in Deuteronomy. We would love for you too meet us there, too!

Will you join us?

Although we are starting this week, there is no schedule...no weekly chapter selection. We are just reading through God's word together and discussing the things that He says to us along the way.

If you would like to read with us, please leave a comment below. I am not going to do a McLinky (even though I think they are really cool) because I don't want this to be "one more thing" on your to-do list. I want this to be something you want to do...at your own pace.

This will be an incredible journey.

Will you join us?

If you decide to join us, leave a comment below. And if you feel compelled to write a post on your own blog, just leave a comment or email me at erin(at)erin-brady(dot)com so I can link it up on my blog.

There is no limit to the things that God can reveal to us as we dig into His word together. There is no limit to the things that God can do in our lives. There is no limit to the things that He can accomplish.

Will you join us?

My Own Illiteracy

2010-06-16T13:07:00.001-04:00

I haven't been very considerate of my blog lately. It seems that summertime is a distraction.

Do you blame me?

I recently listened to a podcast by Michael Catt on the topic of Bible Illiteracy. Pastor Catt teaches at Sherwood Baptist Church in Alpharetta, Georgia. Sherwood is most known for their movies: Flywheel, Facing the Giants, Fireproof and their current project, Courageous.

I could listen to Michael Catt preach all day long. In fact, I have listened to him all day long. There are about seven different sermons in the series on Bible Illiteracy and I listend to them all in one day.

It was that good.

It resonated with me.

I can quote scripture. I have read books about The Bible. I have been in church almost my whole life. But outside of looking up a verse or learning the childrens' stories, I have never really read The Bible for myself.

Bibles are regulated in China. There are 52 countries that have made owning a bible illegal.

Yet I have owned a bible my whole life and never actually read it through and through.

We have no idea how blessed we are to live where we live.

How can I say that I love God when I have never saturated myself in His word?

I know people who read Nicholas Sparks and Steven King as if their very lives depend on the next publication. What they don't realize, and what I am learning to realize, is that our lives absolutley depend on the words within The Bible.

Matthew 4:4 says, "It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God." (King James Version)

So I started reading it.

And I have to say, I can hardly put it down. He really does speak through His word and I can't wait to share with you what He is saying to me.

Momentous Monday

2010-06-07T11:03:00.000-04:00

On Saturday, Kelsey participated in her first-ever 5K! For ten weeks, she has been practicing after school with several other 4th and 5th graders. It was all leading up to the big event on Saturday.

Here she is before the race.

Since it was her first event, I thought it might be a good idea to run with her...just in case. She started out at the front of the pack with her friends and I settled in near the middle (as not to cramp her style). At about the 1.3 mile marker, I came up behind her and she was walking alone.

Maybe it was the 90 degree heat. Maybe it was the rough terrian of uphill, downhill, through the woods and around a lake. Whatever it was...I think it was more than she bargained for.

So I walked with her and pushed her to finish. We ran some and walked some. She cried some and really wanted to quit.

But she didn't!

Here we are making our way to the finish line (number 12 and 97).

I am so proud of her for not giving up and for finishing what she started. We have already talked about ways to better prepare for the next 5K (which will be in November).

{Tiffany over at A Moment Cherished hosts a blog hop called Momentous Mondays. To learn more about it, click here.}

In other Momentous Monday news, I wrote a guest post for Christy at Critty Joy! Click on over to read What I Would Like For You To Know.

...Like a Sloppy Wet Kiss

2010-05-28T16:48:00.000-04:00

One of the boys in my youth group eluded to the fact that I am an airhead sometimes. (He actually said I was an Undercover Blonde but since I have really smart friends who are natural blondes, I won't go there. And he actually didn't elude to it...he just came right out and said it.)

He is right, though. I am gullible and sometimes dingy...but I think it is a good quality. At least I have the ability to laugh at myself.

You are dying to know why I am saying this, right?

I knew it.

How many of you fabulous people knew that The The David Crowder Band did not actually pen "How He Loves?" It really is one of my favorite songs of all time. I've felt this connection with DC*B because the lyrics are honest and raw and clearly come from someone who has experienced "afflictions eclipsed by glory."

But alas, just because an artist sings it does not mean that said artist also WROTE IT!

(Insert dingy joke here.)

This discovery in no way diminishes my utmost respect and ~~obsession~~ appreciation for The David Crowder Band. Not. At. All.

After a quick Google search, I found that the song was really written by John Mark McMillan.

If you like this song, please click over to his site and watch the video on why he wrote it. I promise it will not disappoint.

(I will wait patiently right here while you watch the 5 minute video.)

Did you catch the difference in the lyrics? We'll get to that in just a minute.

I love how he said that the word LOVE can mean so many things and that as a result, it really doesn't mean anything at all anymore. It has become a word that we just throw around like a high-five.

Then he talks about losing his good friend in a car accident and he was mad...at God. The LOVE he sings about isn't tied up in a pretty package; it isn't cute; it isn't popular. It comes from a place of intense sadness and hurt. Yet, through that hurt and despite our anger, God loves us right where we are.

The orignal lyric was changed when DC*B covered this song on the album, Church Music. That is also something I learned today. The second verse was written to say:

We are His portion and He is our prize,

Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,

If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking,

So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,

And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,

I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,

When I think about, the way…

A sloppy wet kiss. Heaven meets Earth like a sloppy wet kiss. How do you feel about that? Do you still love the song?

'Cause I do. Maybe even more as if that were possible.

You may be asking what he meant by those words. He does a great job of explaining it here (see the last full paragraph).

But I get it. McMillan says, "the kingdom of heaven and the kingdom of earth converge in a way that is both beautiful and awkwardly messy."

Who has ever been kissed by a two year old? Didn't you love it...but wasn't it sloppy? If that two year old was your own child, you probably live for those kisses. You don't critique your child for showing affection the only way he knows how.

How much more should this concept apply to our Heavenly Father. He meets us right where we are.

Angry.
Hurt.
Frustrated.
Messy.

And it is through those feelings that we begin to feel the pure, unconditional, bigger-than-we-could-ever-imagine love of God.

He loves us; oh, how He loves us.

(John Mark McMillan is from Charlotte, NC and his album, The Medicine comes out in July 2010.)

The truth is...

2010-05-24T21:38:00.000-04:00

The truth is that I am a terrible liar. Maybe I was a good liar when I was 16 but I am not good at it now. Which is why I haven't blogged in a while.

The truth is that this week has been less than fabulous.

You may remember back in January I wrote about our loss. Since the miscarriage, I have had a hard time staying well. I couldn't recover from a simple oral surgery; I had a sinus infection/sore throat for weeks; I started running a low-grade fever in the evenings; I was tired...just tired.

Last week, I realized I was **late**

As in two weeks late.

As in...maybe? Pregnant?

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After several negatives, I finally got a very faint positive!

But...that was it.

Every test after that was negative and I was still **late** so I felt like something was wrong.

Again.

I called and made an appointment. Dreading the inevitable. My (new) doctor was great! He spent about two hours with me and figured it out.

The truth.

The truth is that I wasn't pregnant this time. And the truth is that my body never recovered from the first time. Which makes sense...it explains why I stayed sick and was prone to infection. My body has been trying to convince itself that it was pregnant for the last 5 months. And what I thought was a second miscarriage was my body's way of finally healing.

(Guys, I know you are out there. I am sorry if this is too...personal. But it's...the truth.)

So I have been a little bummed out. I have been a little mad that my (old) doctor didn't catch this. I have been frustrated that this has gone on for five months.

The truth is that I was really let down and I knew I couldn't get online and pretend that everything was normal. I just needed to take time and process my emotions.

Now, the truth is...that I am better. Not 100% but definitley better than before.

I think, "Why did God allow me to lose a baby in January and then allow me to experience a pretend pregnancy in May?"

Then I think about all of the people in Nashville who recently lost their homes, their communities, their pets, their family members and even...their lives.

I think about moms and dads who are taking care of their sick children.

I think about moms and dads who have had to bury their children.

I think about Paul who was innocent but was put in prison for teaching people about Jesus.

And the truth is...I don't have it so bad.

Philippians 3:10 says, "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death," (NIV).

It's so much more than that, though. I don't just want to fellowship His sufferings. I want to rejoice with Him one day...forever.

Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."

The events of the last five months have been allowed by God and it will work out for His good. It might not be what I wanted or planned but I believe it will end up far greater than I ever imagined.

The truth is that He will get the glory.

The truth is that He deserves the glory.

This cool thing and this not so cool thing

2010-05-12T23:08:00.000-04:00

I received a message via Facebook yesterday from I woman who does CrossFit with me. We don't really know each other that well. We don't hang out together outside of the gym. I have no idea where she lives. She doesn't reply often to my status updates and I rarely see updates from her so we haven't formed a social-networking relationship.

Pretty much, we just work out together.

So I was a little surprised when I received a message from her and I was even more surprised when I read the message.

She asked me to pray. She found out over the weekend that her daughter (who I believe may be 17 or 18 years old) is pregnant and considering abortion. She told me that she could tell that I was a Christian and that she needed all of her Christian friends to rally around her daughter and pray that she makes the right decision regarding the baby.

I replied that I would pray and that I would share this prayer request with all my Christian friends (YOU!!!). Will you please join me in praying for my friend's daughter. I don't know her name and even if I did, I probably wouldn't use it. God knows her, though. Pray also that God would give my friend the words to say to her daughter; that He would guide their conversations and allow His grace and mercy to wrap around them both.

So that's the not so cool thing. You wanna know what the cool thing is?

She could tell that I was a Christian.

Me.

There are two reasons why this a pretty big deal.

First of all...have you ever heard of CrossFit? It is pretty much the devil. It's wild. It's loud. It's outta control. It's one of the ways they train UFC fighters, I hear. So when I am at CrossFit in between my deadlifts, pull ups, tire jumps and 400 meter sprints, I often say bad words. I can't help it. It just comes out. It's not very Christian of me...I know. (And I am working on that.) So I run and sweat and lift and curse. This is how my friend has come to know me.

Second, this might be the first time that someone from the real-world sensed that I was a Christian. I didn't have to tell her. She doesn't know me well-enough to know that I am active in church or that I have a serious passion for all-things-God. She could just tell.

That might not be a big deal to some of you suma cum-laude Christians. (Yes, you know who you are.) But in case you are wondering...suma cum-laude Christians are the ones who never "stole a pig" or had to "come to the end of himself." I am envious of people who "got God" at a young age and didn't have to learn the hard way. That is so admirable. I flunked out of this Christianity thing a time or two and I am still not even close to graduation.

I used to be the girl you could count on to go to the bar and get hammered when you found out your boyfriend cheated on you. I used to be the one who gave private lessons on the art of rolling the pefect joint. I used to be angry all the time. I used to hate police officers and preachers.

I used to be a lot of things that I am not anymore.

And I am not saying this to glorify "self." I am saying this for the glory of my God who loved me enough to pursue me despite all the things I used to be. I am saying this to encourage those of you are in the throws of rebellion (or have kids who are). I am saying this because God is the great redeemer and He can fix anything that is broken.

Phillipians 1:6 says that "he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

She saw Christ in me.

She saw Christ in me.

That is so amazing to me...based on where I have been in the past. It's almost unbelievable. And if I didn't know that the author of this story happened to be the only uncreated one, I wouldn't believe it.

But it's all because of Him.

Will you please remember to pray for my friend and her daughter?

I am Not

2010-05-08T23:14:00.000-04:00

Who loves going to the bookstore?

Kelsey and I love it for sure. Last Saturday, we decided to drop by the "big one" with the coffee shop in it. (Of course, our town is too small for one of these grand stores so we stopped in while visiting family in SC.) I could ~~waste~~ spend so much time walking up and down the aisles...picking up books...turning the pages...reading each cover...anxious to uncover the story inside each one.

I decided that we could each get one book. If I don't say those words aloud before we walk in, I will end up spending next week's budget on books, magazines, book marks and crossword puzzles.

Kelsey found her favorite section in Youth Fiction and I made myself comfortable in Christian Inspiration.

I immediatley saw books by so many people whose names alone trigger thoughts of our Savior: Meyer, Chan, Lucado, Lewis, Viola, Moore. After more than 45 minutes of walking up and down a single aisle in the bookstore, I narrowed my search down to two must haves: The Christian Athiest by Craig Groeschel and I Am Not But I Know I Am by Louie Giglio.

It's not even fair. I have to go with Giglio. (Although I must say that I have since read some amazing reviews on The Christian Athiest and CANNOT wait to read it next. Have any of you read it? What did you think??)

I Am Not But I Know I Am.

That's a pretty busy sentence and I have to admit, I am not even finished with the book yet. I am marinating in it; soaking in each page; underlining and highlighting as if my life depended on it.

Giglio tells the story of Moses on the mountain when God appears in the form of the burning bush. At the end of the encounter, Moses asks God what he should tell the people? Who should he say he heard from on the mountain. God's answer simply is, "I am."

"I am," in English translates to the verb be. In other words, God just is.

He is the beginning and the end.
He is the alpha and omega.
He is the creator.
He is the healer.
He is the pefect One.
He is...

And we are not.

I can't wait to finish reading my book. I think I know where it is heading and I will tell you more about it when I am done.

But until then, I have already gotten so much from it.

We all think we are so important with our families, our careers and our responsibilities. I saw this so clearly at the airport this week when I was traveling for work.

The minute that the airplane hit the tarmac, people immediatley turned on their cell phones, iPhones and Blackberries and starting checking voicemail and email. As if two hours away from email could cause the world to crash.

I saw it in the terminal too. People talking on their phones like the whole economy depended on that particular call. They walk around in circles talking and making faces as if to illustrate their frustration at being stuck in a menial airport...but proud they can still work. They see me watching and nod as if to say, "Don't worry; you'll thank me later for the very important decision I just made on this very important phone call becuase I am a very important business person."

I actually laughed. No really...I laughed out loud.

Then I got sad for them.

I thought about how wrong they were. Didn't they know?

Didn't they know that God was in complete control?

He is. His name is I Am, afterall.

We are part of His plan...not the other way around.
We need Him...not the other way around.

He is fully able to accomplish the plan of our lives...whether or not we are at an airport terminal.

So the Dow dropped a staggering 1000 points in 15 minutes. So there was a foiled terrorist attack in NYC. So unemployment is outta control.

He still is.

And we still are not.

No matter how many calls we take or how many emails we answer.

We still are not.

I am relieved that I don't have to be. I am relieved that He knew me before the foundation of the Earth was laid.

I am so relieved to know that He does not need to me but He wants me.

I Am wants me.

Me.

Even though I Am Not.

Amazing.

Love.well.

2010-05-06T09:31:00.001-04:00

I have been noticeably absent from the blogosphere this week...and I have missed you! I have so much to share with you but it's probably not what you are expecting.

I got a new toy and her name is Nikon. Well, that's what is said on the box anyway. She is my first DSLR and I am having so much fun with her!

I am no photographer but I sure do like her. Let me show you...

I took these pictures at my mother-in-law's house: one of my favorite places to go.

It's in the country.

When everyone comes over after church on Sunday for lunch, it gets REALLY loud. But I love it.

There is no place like Nanny and Pa's house.

In my absence of writing, I have had a lot of time to think...and listen. Did ya'll know that the new MercyMe album was released on Tuesday?

...wow...

I can't stop listening to The Generous Mr. Lovewell. Don't let the title throw you off. It's all about "loving well" and loving more like Jesus.

Unconditionally.

Freely.

For those who need it.

For me.

For you.

I think God is trying to tell me something. Lately, it seems like everywhere I turn, the message is to "love thy neighbor as thyself."

And that's a lot.

There is so much more that I want to say right now. I am just not sure that I have the words yet. Everywhere I turn, I see it. Everything I hear is telling me about it. Everything I read is compelling me to...

Love 'em like Jesus.

Love with a Crazy Love.

Follow Him into the homes that are broken.

Have a World Vision and not a local vision.

I am going on travel today for work and will hopefully have some quiet time in the hotel. Maybe I will have some time to process all of this.

Until then...

Wordless Wednesday

2010-04-28T20:52:00.000-04:00

I love North Carolina.

(This was one of the first pictures I took with my new Camera :-)

Momentous Monday!

2010-04-26T08:13:00.000-04:00

It’s Momentous Monday!! Tiffany at A Moment Cherished hosts this wonderful blog-hop each week to encourage us to be intentional as mothers, wives and Christians. I think sometimes we get so caught up in the everyday activities that we forget to enjoy the smallest of moments and to be thankful that we have been given the gift of family and salvation.

Casting Crowns performed in Greensboro, NC on Saturday night and I was there! If you have never seen the Crowns live, let me just say these few things….

First, you will not walk away without a blessing. There is something about worshiping with a few thousand Christians that cannot be described. When that many people are gathered together, singing together, clapping together…it’s just something that you have to experience for yourself.

Second, these people have a heart for the youth. They are all youth ministers at their respective assemblies in Georgia. After the show on Saturday, they hopped on a bus and drove back to be at their home churches on Sunday morning. They have an amazing dedication and I pray that God sustains their energy and their willingness to continue sharing His message.

Finally, it’s loud…it’s REALLY loud. They jam. Now I know that there are a lot of folks who think that Christian music should be traditional. There are folks who think that God has a certain window of approved decibels and anything over or under that window is out of His will. If you are one of these people, I will say that maybe the Crowns are not for you…but you’re missing blessing.

In the middle of all the sound and the other worship and the music, I captured this image. I think that it speaks to the intimacy of the Holy Spirit. I love how, in a room with thousands of strangers, this guy was worshipping as if it were just him and God. Because really, when it comes down to it, isn't worship really just about you and God? It’s beautiful to me…and it is worthy of my Momentous Monday post.

It's Me!! And my secret.

2010-04-20T22:05:00.000-04:00

I feel like I haven’t been honest about something and I need to get it off my chest today. But first, I have some administrative items to take care of.

*****

Welcome to http://www.erin-brady.com/ !! I created my own domain name so that people who know me will have an easier time finding my blog. I am not sure if the transition is 100% complete but I am so excited! So bear with me as I tweak and arrange the settings of my new home.

*****

I missed Tiffany’s blog hop yesterday. Momentous Monday is such a great way to start the week and I was bummed that I just couldn’t get a post together before the end of the day. My plan was to write one up last night after dinner but ~~I just got so busy scrubbing and folding laundry~~ it just didn’t happen. Tiffany, I am on it for next week…I promise!

*****

On to the meat of this post…

Yes. I have been keeping something to myself since I started this blog and with my new name, should come a new honesty. When I started blogging, I hid behind my anonymity for a while. Then I got a little more comfortable so I stepped out a bit. Now, I am all the way out there and there is no more hiding. Part of me is still afraid to say controversial things (like I am about to say) because of how friends, family and my church family will react. But God knows my heart and my ultimate goal is to please Him. If what I say pleases Him but people don’t like it, then who cares? Right? I want to please Him.

So here goes…

I am not a fan of church.

Whew. I said it. Out loud. I do actually feel better.

Before you write me off as a crazy lunatic and cancel your subscription to my blog, allow me to explain.

I am a fan of God. I am a fan of worship. I am a fan of serving Him. I am a fan being a Christian. But I am not a fan of church.

(There are exceptions to every rule and I must caveat this by saying that there ARE churches out there that are on fire for God. There are churches that are really serving Him. I AM a fan of these churches.)

The truth is that I think the modern church has lost its way. It is more concerned with the mundane than its intended purpose; it is driven by quantity and not quality; it follows the schedule/bulletin rather than feeling instruction from The Holy Spirit; there are committees to manage the committees but very little concern over the lost souls of the community.

I don’t think that this situation is unique to my church. In fact, I know it’s not. I read an interesting article by Jon Zens on Frank Viola’s website last week and I just can’t get it out of my head. The title of the article is “Are We Eating with the Right People? Thoughts from 1 Corinthians 5.” I highly recommend it as further explanation of my issues with the modern church. This is amazing. It confirmed to me that I was not the only one feeling this way.

There is so much more that we can be doing for Jesus. I understand the need of getting “sheep food” and church is the place to get it. I also love the relationships that I have with other people in the Body of Christ.

But once a person develops a relationship with Christ and is steady on their Christian walk, the church starts to…well…suck them dry. Going to church on Sunday morning is no longer enough. We are then expected to go Sunday night. And Wednesday night. And don’t forget Sunday school. And choir practice. And the women’s meeting on Monday. And prayer meeting on Friday. The next thing you know, you are at church seven nights a week.

Inside the building. With other people who already know Christ. Planning events for and singing with other people who already know Christ.

At what point do we stop interacting with only other Christians and start reaching out to people who don’t know Him? To do this, it requires one to step outside of the church.

I want to be known as a friend to sinners and I want to eat with the wrong people (see article from above).

The church resides in a box and I want to blow that box to shreds.

We need to unchurch the church.

Any ideas?

More Perfect than even James Earl Jones

2010-04-18T22:40:00.000-04:00

I just read a Twitter update from one of my friends and she said that God sounds like Morgan Freeman. I immediatley corrected her. EVERYONE knows that God sounds like James Earl Jones. (Think Symba's dad from The Lion King movie.) As I clicked away and continued to read my Twitter updates, I thought that maybe there was something more to this thought.

What does God really sound like?

Would I know His voice if I heard it?

Am I ever still enough to hear Him speak to me?

Consider the creation for a moment. Consider the fact that God was around long before there was light and sound. He invented our voices and the anatomical features that allow us to hear. It's hard for us to imagine communication in any form other than written language, spoken language or even body language. God pre-dates all of this yet our inability to understand the fullness of our Maker requires that we give Him the same attributes that we have as human beings. We expect God to speak to us in an audible voice when really, His method of communication may be something completely different...something more perfect than words.

Sure, there are instances in the Bible when God spoke to man. Remember Moses? Adam and Eve? Abraham? I am of the opinion that in these cases, He sounded more like James Earl Jones or even Captain Jean Luc Picard from the Starship Enterprise. If they heard Him, then it had to sound like something, right? For all we know, He could have sounded like Maya Angelou or my Grandmother. But I am pretty sure that God doesn't need a voice to convey His words or His message to us.

I think about the times that God spoke to me. I didn't hear a powerful voice; the clouds didn't part in the sky opening the door to the Heavens while invisible harps played in the background; birds did not land on my shoulders and tweet songs to me as my Maker and I conversed in the mossy vale.

The truth is that God gives me thoughts and ideas. It's silent. It's fleeting. It's easy to miss. It requires me to be in tune with Him and open to the possibility that my thoughts are not really even my thoughts...they are His.

Louie Giglio, who founded Passion City Church and ministers to people like Chris Tomlin, suggested that when we pray, we should bring a notebook. He believes that true prayer is a conversation between you and God. And just like most conversations, there is time to talk and time to listen. If we listen, He will surely respond to our questions. And if God says something to me or gives me an idea, I am going to write it down so that I don't forget about it later.

When is the last time you stopped in your prayer to listen to what God had to say?

So what does God sound like if He doesn't speak to us audibly?

This is an incomplete list of times that I have heard God...or felt God...ministering to me:

a heavy downpour of rain on my tin roof

{a lullaby from the Heavens}

Isaac Stern playing the violin

(immense power and emotion from such a delicate instrument}

waves at the beach

{always there, never ceasing...just like God}

a car horn

{a warning to potentially save my life}

total silence

{ironically, these are the times when I hear Him the loudest}

thunder

{resonating explosions of sound; huge but not bigger than God}

playing the piano

(comfortable, familarity of the keys}

my daughter's laughter

{innocent, childlike faith}

my tears

{the times that I cried out to Him but He was already there beside me}

passing cars on the interstate

{this is another blog in itself}

a room full of worshipers, singing together

(to me, there is nothing more precious than His people offering up the sacrifice of praise. His presence is almost tangible}

There is no wrong answer. God can use ALL things to minister to us. He is God, afterall. I love it when I look back on a situation and it was so clear that God was speaking to me and using that experience to teach me.

What does it sound like when God speaks to you?

If you aren't sure what God sounds like, let me tell you where to start. Get in His word. Find a church that teaches from The Bible; find a group of believers with whom you can fellowship; read His words for yourself. When you do these things, God will speak to you and more importantly, you will learn how to listen to Him.

Momentous Monday

2010-04-12T11:56:00.000-04:00

I love to sleep and I hate waking up early. I adore my bed. It makes my soul smile to know that I can roll over and go back to sleep on the weekends. Something happens inside of my being when I wake up before the sun…and it’s not cute. When the alarm clock goes off on Monday morning and it’s still dark outside, I am not a joyful person. What’s worse is the realization that I still have another four days of alarm clock, pre-sun waking up. Monday’s and I just don’t see eye-to-eye.

So when I read Tiffany’s blog last week and learned that she was starting a blog hop called Momentous Monday, I knew it was something that I needed to do. I need to get over my Monday-morning-bitterness. I need to find joy in all things. The name of Tiffany’s blog is A Moment Cherished and she writes about being a mother and the wife of a pastor. I love her perspective. In an effort to find joy…even on Mondays…I am joining Tiffany in her trek to celebrate the cherished moments.

After church yesterday, we went to my mother-in-law's house for lunch. This has been a tradition since long before I joined the family. She and my father-in-law, most often affectionately referred to as Nanny and Pa, prepare a spread every Sunday that mimics an average Thanksgiving. Sunday Lunch has become one of my favorite parts of the week. It typically includes roast, mashed potatoes, gravy, fried okra, green beans, corn, macaroni and cheese, rolls, apple butter, chocolate cake and sweet tea.

It only took a few Sunday’s to catch on to the grace routine. Nanny usually shouts over the crowd that lunch is ready and that it’s time to say the blessing. Everyone finds his/her seat (which is usually the same seat Sunday after Sunday) and sits down. We fold our hands, close our eyes and, in unison, we all say, “Grace.” Then we all laugh together. And with our eyes still closed, we quiet down again while Pa says the real blessing.

{Yesterday’s blessing was Momentous because Pa’s health has been up and down for the past year. In fact, he was in the hospital over the weekend and we were thankful to have him home again. I have grown to love Pa over the years. I never knew that I could love someone else’s father as much as I love him.}

Then we all dig in and I use the term “dig” literally. We have learned to watch out for elbows and forks over the years. It’s an “every man for himself/take no prisoners” kind of dig. I remember my first few Sundays at lunch. I didn’t eat as much as I could have of course…I was trying to be polite and cute. That only lasted about a month.

Please excuse the terrible quality of this picture. It is actually a picture of a picture from my wedding but it is us. This is us...just as we are...on Sunday's. We call this photo the Cole Chaos. And I love it.

I love Sunday’s at Nanny and Pa’s house. It is a beautiful chaos and it is loud…really loud. We are a big, happy family who loves each other despite our imperfections. We have seen a multitude of laughs, tears, hugs and arguments. We have heard stories of the past and talked about what the future may hold.

I noticed yesterday, as we sat around after lunch, how much we have grown. As the grown-ups talked, Kelsey sat on my lap and we shared a piece of chocolate cake.

{It was Momentous because I noticed that her feet were almost touching the floor. There was a time when my baby girl could fit perfectly on my lap and her feet would barely hang off my knees. Now, she is so big. And I think she still fits perfectly in my lap.}

As routine as yesterday was, it was beautifully Momentous.

Thank you, Tiffany, for the encouragement to be present in my everyday life and to be thankful...so thankful...even for Monday's.

It Was A Good Day

2010-04-06T21:44:00.000-04:00

A really cool thing happened today.

Remember the blog I posted last week about my friend leaving work? Remember how sad I was that I was losing that daily friendship? And then, remember how I felt guilty because I was so sad?

Well let me tell you that God is on time for everything. Everything.

No my friend did not come back to work but this thing is equally as exciting. Let me rewind back to last summer.

A new guy started work at my office. I don’t talk about my job much on this blog and I will not start today. I will say that I work in a very small office of mostly men. So the fact that another man started work at my office was not a newsflash. He was nice; he got along well with other people. It was not monumental.

Fast forward several months…I found out that he lives in the development across the street from my house. I thought this was a cool coincidence.

Fast forward to Christmas…I found out that he has a daughter the exact same age as my daughter. We decided then, in December, that we should get our girls together since they essentially live across the street from one another. His daughter is home-schooled and my daughter goes to a school outside of our home district. As a result, neither girl has friends in the neighborhood.

Christmas is a really bad time to make plans. Life gets very busy. Getting the girls together just didn’t happen.

Fast forward to Monday…as in this past Monday. I received an email from the “new” guy asking if this week, spring break, would be a good time to get the girls together. I immediately responded with an emphatic, “YES!!!”
Fast forward to today.

Since I was working from home today, it was the perfect day for the girls to meet! This morning, I called his wife and arranged for the girls to meet at their house at 3:00. I stayed on the phone with the mom for an hour. We talked about our girls and I felt an immediate connection. As the conversation continued, we began talking about our faith and our challenges with raising girls. We talked about what’s important to us, as moms and as Christians. Our girls, from our perspective, had a lot in common and we were both excited about what the day might bring for our girls.

At 3:00, Kelsey and I walked over to their house. I was welcomed in and Kelsey met her new friend. The girls went off to play and the mom and I sat at the kitchen table and began to talk.

I realized at that moment how beautiful God’s plan is for us.

The mom and I talked until 5:00.

I found a sister in Christ today. Across the street from my house.

We have similar struggles and we have the same desires for our daughters and we have the same approach to child-rearing.

Don’t you love how God works?

She has been there, yards away from my house, for two years and I didn’t know it. But God knew that I needed a friend now.

And He sent her to me just when I needed it.

Although she would say that He sent me to her just when she needed it.

I love how God works. He has a roadmap for my life that I is better than any plan that I could ever make.

Oh yeah…the girls got along great! They were instant friends and I think they will be good for one another!!

Yay! I am thankful and excited tonight!
How about you? What did God do for you today?

I'd be jealous too...

2010-04-04T20:57:00.000-04:00

I was just visiting another blog and I heard the words, "He is jealous for me," from David Crowder Band's How He Loves. I thought, was a perfect song for Easter.

No, it's not about Christ's death.

No, it's not about Christ's ressurection.

It is, however, about Christ's love for us.

Always, but especially during this season, I am overwhelmed by the suffering that Christ experienced on the cross. I think about the nails (5-7 inche-nails by some accounts) that were driven in his wrists and heel bone. I think about his mother watching him die. I think about the crown on thorns on his head.

Have you ever had a splinter? Imagine a whole bunch of splinters in your hair and on your forehead. It must have been terribly uncomfortable. And it must have been almost unbearable when combined with exhaustion and the excruciating pain of the nails.

The vision of the cross is both beautiful and terrible. What Jesus must have suffered that day...for all of those hours...for all of us.

It's unthinkable.

But back to my first sentence. I heard, "He is jealous for me," as I was reading another person's blog and I have a thought.

I would be jealous too.

If I created the Universe for someone.
If I created the sunrise and sunset for someone.
If I created lightening bugs for someone.
If I created the amazing colors of autumn for someone.
If I created the bloom of a rose for someone.
If I created the sound of the beach for someone.
If I created the color of the sky for someone.
If I created the ironic peace in the middle of a thunderstorm for someone.
If I created the smell of the moutains in the fall.
If I created the stillness of the woods for someone.
If I created the sound of childs' laughter for someone.
If I created taste of his favorite dish.
If I created his favorite song.
If I had sacrificed my only Son for somoene.
If I died on a cross for his salvation.
If arose from the grave for his justification.
If I was there for someone whenever he needed me...no questions asked.

If I had done all these things and he lived as if I had never lived...or died...I would be jealous too.

I would be jealous too.

Blog-Remorse

2010-04-01T21:42:00.000-04:00

When I got to work this morning, I re-read my post from last night. I almost deleted it because…well…it was dumb. Sure, I was sad that my friend wasn’t going to work with me anymore. But seriously…was it blog-worthy? There are some pretty important issues in the world and I was being really self-centered.

I had blog-remorse.

If it were a handbag, I would have returned it. (Well, if it were a small handbag I would have returned it. Who am I kidding, I rarely return handbags.)

If it were a shirt that I didn’t like, I would have returned it.

I had the-morning-after regret. But it was out there already. People read it and they knew that I was selfish.

Right before lunch I had a thought. I thought about one line from a song that I couldn’t even remember. This kept running through my head, “…accomplish what concerns me today.” After a quick Google search, I found that it is from Psalms 138:8: The LORD will accomplish what concerns me; Your lovingkindness, O LORD, is everlasting; Do not forsake the works of Your hands (New American Standard).

He will accomplish what concerns me. He actually cares about what concerns me.

I didn’t quite understand the part about forsaking the works of His hands so I read other translations. GOD’S WORD translation says, “Do not let go of what your hands have made.”

I think that tied it all together for me.

When we were created, God gave us all of these emotions. Happiness, sadness and everything in-between. HE gave them to us; HE will accomplish what concerns us; and HE will never forsake us.

So even though I was remorseful of the blog that I thought was silly, I think He showed me otherwise. He created me. He allowed me to feel these emotions. He is concerned about things that concern me. No matter how big or small.

I am so thankful to have a God who meets me at my level. Aren’t you?

Tomorrow is a New Day

2010-03-31T22:20:00.000-04:00

Today was a sad day.

My friend that works with me decided to stay home with her baby and today was her last day in the office. She has a six-month-old baby boy and her daycare situation was not good. Her husband is in the Army and will deploy soon. They decided that it will be best for her to quit work and stay home with the baby.

I agree 100%. It is the decision that is absolutely best for her family.

It is NOT best for me, though. I will miss my friend.

She doesn’t know that I blog. She has no idea that I am even writing this about her right now.

I think that God allows people to enter our lives for a season. I also believe that we learn from the people that He puts in our paths. I learned a lot from my friend. I learned that there is beauty in the things unsaid. I learned that it’s ok to have guilty pleasures like The Bachelor and good red wine. I learned that there is a need for good girlfriends. I learned that God can reveal Himself in a rose.

I know I am a bit emotional. She is still going to live like four miles down the road but I know things will change. We won’t have our morning talks about what we did the previous night. Eventually, not talking to her everyday will become the NORM and we will lose touch. And that makes me sad.

It’s just where I am right now. I will miss seeing my friend everyday.

Stay tuned for positivity…tomorrow is a new day and there is so much to be happy about.

Pardon the interruption...

2010-03-18T15:55:00.000-04:00

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to bring you this very important breaking news story.

Things are not as bad as they seem. Even if things are worse than they have ever been before...even if you are at the rock bottom...even if you think there is no hope...remember...

Remember how all of Jesus' friends and followers must have felt on the day of crucifixion. Imagine how their hearts sank as they watched their leader, their encourager, the man they knew as the Son of God, their healer...die on a Cross. Imagine Mary, His mother. Think about the sorrow and loneliness and anger she must have felt as her Son quietly whispered, "It is finished."

Death is so final. So forever. The One they trusted to save them was dead.

We know what happened next. We know that Jesus reconciled the sins for anyone who would believe in Him. What looked like the end actually turned out to be the greatest gift that mankind has ever received.

So whatever you are going through, I encourage you to compare it to what Jesus suffered that day. And I ask you: If our Father can take something as tragic as a public crucifixion and turn into one of the most beautiful acts of love ever displayed, is there anything that He cannot redeem?

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming already in progress.

An EXTREME Week

2010-03-16T22:25:00.001-04:00

I would like to welcome my friend, Chris! He is my first guest blogger and he has an AMAZING story to share. He was the first person who read my blog last October and his testimony means so much to me. He recently had a once-in-a-lifetime experience and he shared it with us FIRST!!

*****************************************************************

This is a new experience for me. Erin asked me to blog about a wonderful experience that I went through a couple of weeks ago. Forgive me if this takes a while; I don’t want to forget anything!

I am sure most of you have watched the show Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. It brings me to tears every time I watch it. It's wonderful to see the lives of these families made easier by having a home that is built for their needs. I have always wondered about how much of it was a “show” and how much was people showing real “love” for a family of strangers. I now have a confident answer to that question.

Love was all over this thing. I hope you can see that as well.

It started out as a wonderful work opportunity.   This is the first time Extreme has ever used modular construction and our company was invited to work on the house. We been in the modular business for 25 years and are one of the largest modular builders on the east coast. I saw a big upside to this but I think God wanted to show me something else.

This family happened to be in a small city about a hour south of Atlanta. Williams family is special! They are Jerry (dad), Jennifer (mom), Josie and Jacob. Jacob is 7 years old and was born with Spina Bifida. He is a paraplegic and is wheel chair bound. This would disrupt most families but the Williams felt blessed to have a wonderful little boy. In 2006, Jerry was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s disease. When he found out he went home and told his wife about it and said we have one day to cry about it and than we will go about our life. Jeremy is the local head high school football coach and uses their situation to inspire his school kids. With their faith and testimony they have inspired the whole community. Jeremy is now wheelchair bound so Jennifer has to move the theme by herself. Their 100 year old house just  could not handle the two wheel chairs and was falling apart. This is where we came in to build their new house.

I knew about this for about three weeks before the build was going to happen. As the time grew closer I started to think about what I could do personally for the family. I knew what we were doing as far as the house went but I desired to give them something a little more personal. The day before I left on the 8 hour drive, I felt a strong urge to give them a dvd called How Great is Our God by Louie Giglio. This is one of the most inspiring dvds that I have ever seen and it and shows how God is involved in our lives to the most minute details; nothing is left untouched by Him. I highly recommend it to anyone! The issue with this is that I did not have the dvd and could not order one in time for my trip the next day. What I decided is that Louie’s office is in Atlanta so I might just stop by and see if I can get one. If you guys don’t know about Louie’s ministry you need to check it out. He has a gift from God and has touched people around the world. He travels around the world and heads up Passion Ministries. He is the pastor of Passion City Church and the pastor of Chris Tomlin, Matt Redman, and Christy Knockels. Ever heard of them? I decided to stop by the Passion office in Atlanta and Louie was there! I explained the Williams family to him and he gave me the whole Passion talk series( 4 different talks including How Great is Our God), the latest Chris Tomlin cd and the David Crowder cd to give to the family. He was very gracious. We talked for about ten minutes and then I had to go.

Up to this point my plan was coming together perfectly. Get dvd. Check. Meet Louie. Check . Cds for the kids… bonus. Now I had to get them to the family. My schedule did not allow me to be at the house for the grand presentation so I had to figure out how to get the dvds and cds to them. I thought I had the perfect plan.

Most modulars are built with the kitchen and bathroom cabinets installed at the factory. I initially thought I could leave the cd's and dvd's in the cabinets for the family. However, I was a little concerned about this since ABC has contracts with the cabinet company and they like to film them with the big truck coming in with the cabinets and filming them installing them. This did not help me one bit. As I worked on my projects for the house I really got frustrated with the idea of not being able to get the dvds for the family. I finally came to the place where I said God “ I can’t figure it out, maybe you can” A lot of faith, huh!! He worked it out just fine. The next day I happened to meet Jerry’s brother on the job site. I asked him about if the family were Christians. He said yes and that they actually travel to churches sharing their faith and the story of their family and hope. I was very happy about this. I told him I had a gift for the family but did not know how to get it to them. He offered to get it to the Williams family.

Go God! He worked it out.

I continued to work and was blessed by the care that the ABC production took to make the house very special for the family. I was lucky enough to work hand-in-hand with Ty and Tracy from the show on some of the special projects (you will have to watch the show for those). To me it was obvious this was more than just a job for these guys. They took great care with the letters, pictures and other items from the old house. Many of the old doors, floors and other items we used to build some of the special projects. As we were building the special projects, I started to see this a little different. It was awesome to see so many people come together for a common cause and build a beautiful home. This house will change the lives of the Williiams family forever! It has wide hallways, roll in showers and a wide open plan so they all can visit with each other.

If strangers can come together to build this incredible house in just a week, how beautiful will our heavenly home be when our Father is building it with streets of gold and gates of pearl. I am so excited to see it!

About a week after the build was over I started to think about the whole concept. When the show first came out they would remodel a home in a week. If you have ever remodeled something it is so much easier than building it from scratch. This got me thinking about our relationship with God. How often do we just want him to do a little remodeling with our lives? I am so guilty of that.! "Hey God, can you fix this thing and that thing but leave this alone. I will handle that," we often think. In Christ we are a new creation, not a remodeled one. I pray I live my life more that way! We live in a new house but we drag all the old pieces of our old house in with us. Let’s all realize what a Extreme Makeover Christ did for us! Not a remodel, a new house…. His house!

This past Friday I was thinking about the Williams family and wondered how the new house was changing their lives; I also wondered if they got the dvds and cds. With all the commotion I would have understood if Jerry's brother forgot to give it to him. I thought I would just give him a call. I was pleased that Mr. Williams answered the phone. Up to this point he was just someone I knew of and now he was a real person. I introduced myself as one of the builders and how blessed I was to help build their new home. As he spoke it was hard to understand him since the Lou Gehrig’s disease has progressed a lot. I was a little shocked by this! Their situation suddenly became clear! They are a real family and have many tough days ahead. My heart started to break for them. I quickly adjusted my listening and could understand him much clearer. He thanked me so much and what a blessing the house was to their family. They could all be together again in one room and sit at the dining room table together.   (I take so many things for granted!) We spoke for a few minutes and than I asked him if he received the gift I left him. The first thing he said was, “ I love Giglio”. He said he had the How great is our God dvd before but gave it to a friend who was going through a hard time and had not gotten it back. This guys has Lou Gehrig’s disease and his little boy has Spina Bifida and he is trying to help his friends through a hard time. What a example of a man he is to me. We spoke for a little longer and I asked to speak to his wife, Jennifer. He said she was gone to a church to give her testimony. What a family. I can say that I have never physically met them but I do love them and I feel I will meet them one day in heaven. He thanked me again for the dvds and cds and he invited me to come down a visit his family….. I think I will.

On Feb 27th the Williams moved into their new home. I could not be there for the "Move that Bus" moment but my heart and prayers were with them. I was so blessed to be able to help build their new home. The episode will be on ABC on May 16th. I hope you guys watch it and enjoy their story.

Me and Tom Ford...both need a Savior

2010-03-11T21:15:00.000-05:00

Tom Ford was on Oprah last week. I was a little behind on my recorded shows since I was out of town. Let me tell you about Tom Ford. He is handsome. He is smart. He is creative.

He represents everything about humanity that repulses me.

Before I go on, maybe I should say that I don’t know Tom Ford. He was the man behind Gucci for many years and now he is the man behind is own high-end fashion label. He is also the director of Single Man, which doesn’t look like a terrible movie (if you are liberal enough to get past the homosexuality which I am). But I don’t know Tom Ford. I don’t know his likes, his passions, his religion, his values or his morals.

But he was proud…super-proud.

He was a little too sure of himself.

He seemed over-confident in his achievements.

And I am watching the interview on Oprah and I just wanted to shout very loud at the television, “YOU ONLY HAVE THESE TALENTS BECAUSE GOD GIVES THEM TO YOU. NOTHING YOU HAVE IS A RESULT OF YOUR OWN ABILITY.”

Then I realized that I was kinda, sorta talking to myself too.

It is so easy for me to look at the things that I have done and the things that I have and think of how hard I worked to get where I am. I completed my college degree as a single mom. I landed a great job making more money than I deserve. My daughter is beautiful…like the kind of beautiful where strangers comment. My husband loves me and takes care of me. Our house is in a good neighborhood. We help with charity.

But seriously…I didn’t do these things. God allowed me to get here.

There is nothing special about me and there is nothing special about Tom Ford (except for the whole Gucci thing which is kinda cool).

What sets me apart is Christ in me.

What sets me apart is the fact that God has blessed me.

What sets me apart is that I know the One who died for me.

So, I wasn’t crazy about Tom Ford until I realized that he was no worse off than me. He needs the same Savior that I need. I don’t know about his salvation…but I know about mine.

Me and Tom Ford both need a Savoir. He might have as much money as an oil-tycoon, but he needs a savior the same.

Rather than criticize where he is in his life, I guess I should pray for him.

So Tom, I am praying for you. Congrats on all the achievements that God has allowed you to achieve. I hope you know the One that I have been talking about. He is way cooler than an Academy Award…just saying.

Things Grow From Crap

2010-03-09T22:03:00.000-05:00

(DISCLAIMER: If you consider the word "crap" to be profanity, then this post is not for you.)
This is a first for me. I don’t have a particular topic to discuss or an idea that I want to share. I just want to talk.

I watched the Beth Moore talk from Passion 2010 today. (Yes Chris. I know…I should have seen in a month ago. You can call me out on that now.) Let me tell you why I love Beth. She is real. She has been through some crap and she knows that she is where she is today because of that crap and she gives God all the Glory for it.

This is what she said that really got my attention. (I am going to quote it because this is so profound that even though I don’t have the exact words, the idea itself should be credited to Beth. I am not this good even on my best of days.)

“God promises that all things work together for His good. If God says ‘yes’ to a particular trial in your life, it is because He can use it for good. If God says ‘no’ then it is because He would not have received the Glory for it in the end. Whatever tragedy, or pain, or sadness you have in your life, please don’t be ashamed of it. Embrace it. Because this is your ministry.” -Beth Moore

Here is the thing: I have been through some crap, too. Stuff that I haven’t even talked about on this blog yet. But I love how Beth reminded me that NOTHING happens outside of God’s will and that He will use it for His good. That crap. That crap that I have been through can be used for His good.

It amazes me sometimes. That the worst moments of my life. The things that I would like to re-do…the things that I would like to erase….these are the things that will set me apart from other people. But in a good way. It makes me real. And relatable. It makes me relevant.

Only God can do that. I am quite thankful that all of that crap happened to me. I am also thankful because I am sure that there will be more crap in the future. Whatever happens, I know that if God will allow it, then He will have a reason for it.

So let’s just be honest for a minute. I am sure that when the crap hits the fan, I will forget that it will end well. I will probably be mad and I might even talk to God as if He were against me.

Which in itself is crazy. He is in us and He is for us and He is with us.

What a relief.

Have you ever thought about the number of people who live on our planet right now? I think it’s close to 4 billion people. If you can wrap your brain around that number, then think about the number of people who have lived on this planet since Adam and Eve were created. Whatever number that is, I CANNOT wrap my brain around it and I doubt you can either.

Now if you can possibly imagine that all of those people who ever lived were created with a purpose in mind. God knew who I was going to be when He laid the foundations of the Earth. He also knew who all the other billions of people were going to be. He created each individual for a purpose. He gave each of us a ministry.

I want to know what my ministry is and I want to fulfill it to His standards (like that is possible) (I am laughing at myself right now for even saying that out loud) (since I said that, I will probably fail miserably at my ministry) (why did I even say that?).

I think He must not be done with me…and that is both terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.

Thanks for listening to me ramble. All of this might be old-news to you but I am still trying to understand how He can get ANY good out my mistakes. It is baffling. But I love Him and thank Him everyday for it.

Carrots in Brooklyn

2010-02-28T22:27:00.000-05:00

So I am writing this post from my hotel room in New York City…just in between Chinatown and Little Italy in Manhattan. I needed a break from the norm. We flew in this afternoon just in time to check into the hotel and catch a cab to Brooklyn for the 3:00 PM service at The Brooklyn Tabernacle. As we were walking to our seats, we saw her. Carol Cymbala. Really. We talked to her. In real life. A. May. Zing.

It got even better. We sat on the third row and were surrounded by people of every age and race. I was worlds away from a typical Sunday in North Carolina. I was amazed at the people. I was amazed that so many different kinds of people had such unity. Hugs for everyone…even strangers. In fact, there were no strangers. Everyone was so inviting. So genuine.

I was soaking it up. I didn’t even want to close my eyes to pray because I was afraid there would one thing (one small detail) that I would miss. I didn’t want to miss a thing.

The service itself was great. There was music and there was preaching. Preaching that was great. Music that was led of the Spirit. I won’t bore you to death the specifics of what songs were sung or what the service was about.

But I will tell you about carrots. During the service, I literally thought about carrots.

My job is usually relaxed. We have a relaxed schedule and can take a lunch break whenever we want. We can also take a breakfast break and/or several snack breaks, too. As long as the work gets done, we are free to be flexible.

However, there are those random days that we are so busy we don’t stop to eat. On these days, we just focus on getting the job done so we can go home. I am so famished by the time I get home that I just open up the refrigerator and grab the first thing I see.

It’s usually baby carrots.

At seven o’clock in the evening after a 12-hour work day and no food, baby carrots can be delicious. They might taste like a savory meal or a sweet dessert…whatever one may be craving at the time.

On any other day, I wouldn’t look twice at that bag of carrots. I would go for the chips and salsa or the popcorn or the buffalo chicken wings or the steak. But when starvation and exhaustion meet at the end of a long day, carrots suddenly seem irresistible.

So maybe that’s where I was today as I sat in the Brooklyn Tabernacle…somewhere between spiritual starvation and spiritual exhaustion.

I have mentioned that we are having issues at my current church and I can’t tell you the last time that I felt “fed.” It seems like I am swimming upstream sometimes. I have been tired. And hungry.

So when I sat in the service today with a guest singer and a guest speaker, I felt like I was “eating” for the first time a really long time. The church wasn’t full. It was the third service of the day, after all. The usual attendees were probably already filled during the other services and maybe they didn’t all return for the service with all of the guest participants.

Compared to where I have been, the third service rocked my world. What might have been just a boring bag of baby carrots to members of the church served as the first meal I have eaten in a while and I savored every bite.

I am refreshed. I am excited for what God has in store for me and my church family in North Carolina. I am no longer hungry or exhausted.

I love carrots.

And incidentally, I came to the conclusion that victory is in Jesus but Jesus is not necessarily in every Victory.

The Problem, Redemption and New York City

2010-02-26T23:41:00.000-05:00

I don’t think I’ve had writers block. I can sit down at my computer and write pages of fluff. I can write and write…but it seems to be irrelevant. It doesn’t contain the purpose that I want my blog to achieve.

So I wait.

And wait.

And I keep waiting for something to hit me. Something great. Something worth writing about. But nothing hits me. In fact, nothing has hit me for over two weeks. And I wonder if God wants me to take a break from writing. I wonder if He has taken my voice. I wonder…

After a few weeks of waiting for “it,” I got it.

Big. Small. Loud. Quiet.

When I feel it and when I don't.

Good days. Bad days. In-between days.

God is the same every day. God is the same no matter what kind of day I am having.

We have been having a hard time at our church. We don’t have a preacher and the current leadership is…questionable. I have grown to dread Sunday’s and Wednesday’s. It has become political and I worry that we are no longer doing God’s work.

I feel drained.

But even in this situation, God is in charge. I believe that He can take this situation and redeem it. That reminds me of that Selah song Unredeemed. It says:

“Life breaks and falls apart

But we know these are

Places where grace is soon to be so amazing

It may be unfulfilled

It may be unrestored

But when anything that's shattered is laid before the Lord

Just watch and see

It will not be unredeemed.”

It might not be what I want but it WILL be redeemed. In the meantime, I guess I am just struggling with the struggle.

On a much happier note…I am headed to New York City in a few days for work. Through much convincing and arm-twisting, my mom has decided to join me on this trip. I am SO excited. We will be going to The Brooklyn Tabernacle on Sunday and I am….stoked! This might be the rejuvenation that I need…not to mention the shopping and the eating. We have reservations as Bobby Flay’s restaurant on Monday night. We will also be going to 5th Avenue, the young designer’s market, Canal Street…I can’t WAIT!

There is life outside of the four walls of my life.

What’s more important…there is life inside the four walls of my life.

Pray for our church. Pray for my trip to New York.

I can't wait to tell you about The Brooklyn Tabernacle!!!

Peace the Snow Brings...

2010-02-12T22:14:00.002-05:00

It’s snowing in North Carolina again. There is something exciting about the snow. Something innocent. The snow used to remind me of being a kid and playing with my sister in the yard at our old house; rosy cheeks; big coats; childhood excitement!

Now, it reminds me of something different.

As I watch the snow fall, in the dark, ever so quietly, I am once again reminded of our Christ who entered the world in much the same way.

Without fanfare.

Predicted but no way to know when or how much.

Covering the world’s imperfections.

Making everything beautiful.

If we think about our Savior in terms of the snow, it makes sense that both are white. Both are beautiful. Both can be diminished when man gets involved.

I don’t know about you but I love to see snow….for about the first day. Then, the snow plows come through and make dirty, snowy piles at each corner. Our yards get rampaged with footprints, snow angels and attempts of building a snowman or two.

The snow has been falling here for a few hours. As I look across the backyard, the snow makes me notice things that I have never noticed before: individual tree limbs; the shape of the flower pot; the way the light falls between each flake.

Isn’t that what God does to us? Doesn’t he allow us to see things differently?

I can say from experience, that when Christ has a home in our hearts, the world is much more beautiful. We don’t focus on the negative. We notice things about other people that were previously unnoticed.

When the South is your home, snow forces you to slow down and be still. We aren’t equipped to handle several inches of snow. We just don’t have the machinery to make the roads safe. We stay home and focus on our family.

Be still and know that I am God.

Spring is right around the corner and I am ready for warmer weather. But until then, I am going to watch this snow and be thankful for my Savior. Who was born to save the imperfect; who doesn’t need any help from Man; who gives me a heart to feel things from His perspective; who wants me to be still with Him.

I hope, wherever you are tonight, that you can appreciate the beauty of Christ and that you are blessed with a moment to be still in His presence.

{♥}

2010-02-05T12:06:00.000-05:00

In the beginning

He breathed light

All for love

Jars of Clay

Plans to Prosper

Not to harm

We turned away

Word became flesh

For a while

Our Kinsman Redeemer

Walked through fire

Healed our disease

Stretched His arms

Bled and died

With unfailing Love

Ransomed the lost

Delivered the broken

White as snow

Love so Amazing

We worship forever

Beautiful Darkness

2010-01-25T21:38:00.002-05:00

I have been in a pretty dark place lately. I am not going to lie. And when I realized just how dark it was around me, I began to feel things a little differently. Since you can’t see in the dark…it’s all about what you feel.

People usually associate darkness with evil, loneliness, scariness, danger. It makes sense because the dark is…well, dark. I can understand why people who are going through trials refer to these times as dark times. We can’t see what’s coming. We keep looking for something and we are scrambling for something {anything} to hold on to but it just doesn’t come.

If we would just stop looking and scrambling and just be still, then we would feel it.

We would feel that the darkness consuming is not always evil. It is not always lonely. It is not always scary. It is not always dangerous.

There is a darkness where the children of God can find rest. It is a beautiful darkness.

It is the shadow of the cross.

In the middle of going through this last trial, I just felt so helpless. I felt guilty and I was definitely sad. As I have mentioned about a billion times before, God speaks to me through music. It seemed like every song I heard during this time referenced the cross; the suffering of Christ and how he lived His life in the shadow of the cross.

Compared to what I was going through, the cross just seemed so big. So definite. So final. So harsh. So cruel. So…not what He deserved.

He suffered the ultimate death so that I could have life. He wants me to rest in that knowledge. I can rest in Him.

I started to think about my trial just a little bit differently. I looked at the darkness around me and rather than looking around and scrambling for something…I looked up and saw the cross. I was closer to Him than I had ever been before. It was dark but not hopeless.

All of a sudden, I felt like I was in a very sacred place. I was not in the kind of place where I could complain. It was the kind of place where I could feel His suffering which caused my suffering to melt away.

I am so thankful for the cross and I am even more thankful that I can rest in it’s shadow. My darkness is beautiful and it is all because of Him.

I know that I am not the only person going through trials right now. I beg you...stop searching. He is right there. Already in your darkness waiting on you to rest in Him, too.

Week One

2010-01-20T23:03:00.000-05:00

The last week has been like a roller coaster for me. I never knew suffering a miscarriage could wreak so much havoc on a woman’s body. Emotions up and emotions down. Laughter and tears. Hunger and nausea. Questions and thankfulness. Sleepiness and restlessness.
My head knows that God is in control and I promise that He is giving me strength to deal with this situation. I am not devastated. I am sad but not overwhelmed. However, my body has not thought this thing out yet.

Would someone please tell my hormones that I am ok? Because they keep trying to freak me out. My hormones want me to be guilty for moving past this experience. They tell me that if I go back to work and smile then I am betraying that little bitty baby that I had for 7 weeks. I know that's not the truth and I keep telling the Devil to stay away from my hormones. Maybe Week Two will be a little easier and my body can get caught back up with my head.

I am actually really excited! I am excited that God loves me enough to reveal Himself to me. I am excited to get past this phase and move on to the next phase in my life. I am excited to try again for a baby.

I am also really thankful. Rather than dwelling on what was taken from me, I am focusing on what I have and what I have learned so far. If you don’t mind, I would really like to share some of that with you right now.

I am thankful for a husband who has given me space when I needed to be alone and who has been a pillar when I needed his support.

I am thankful for a daughter who has been sad in her own special 9-year-old way and who wants to understand so she can help me get better.

I have learned that Mexican food can cure anything.

I am thankful for friends and family who are so full of love and support.

I have learned that some people were not given the gift of tact.

I am thankful for David Crowder Band’s Church Music album.

I have learned that I can get very nervous and anxious…but this too, will pass.

I am thankful that time just keeps going on.

It's Not Logical

2010-01-19T09:38:00.000-05:00

This has been a very difficult week for a lot of people. The news circuits have been broadcasting the tragic loss in Haiti for days and my heart…cannot process it. I am so thankful for the people who have reacted to the incredible need through prayer, awareness and fundraising. They really do need our help and our prayers.

I just can’t do it right now. Blog-friends, I am going to need your help because I just don’t have it in me right now.

This time last week, I was seven weeks pregnant. I’m not anymore.

My husband was on a hunting trip in the Midwest when the problems started. Never underestimate the power of having your husband around when these things happen. I am thankful that I had my mom with me; she was with me at the doctor and she was able to take Kelsey which allowed me time to process the information alone.

In that time alone, I started thinking logically.

God created the universe. He created man and He created woman. Which means that He created the reproductive system. Which also means that He knows how to fix it. Right?

So why doesn’t He?

Then my logic led me to a very philosophical theorem…the bigger picture, if you will. (You remember theorems from geometry class in high school…if X then Y.) If God created Adam then He could have created The Garden without the serpent. If God created the universe then He could have saved all of humanity without having to sacrifice His Son.

So why didn’t He?

I asked Him and here is what He said. (Not in an audible voice, mind you. He answered my questions in a very God-kind-of-way.) First of all, He told me to throw logic out the window. Then He told me that it wouldn’t have done any good.

What would it mean if God were this big, powerful being who stayed in Heaven and watched us from a distance? What if He made our lives so comfortable that we never needed anything? What if He didn’t send Jesus to the cross to pay for our sins?

I don’t know about you but my need for Him, my utter dependence on Him, is what makes me love Him so much. I need Him for my every breath. Whether that breath is happy or sad, I still need Him.

The fact that He could have saved humanity from the beginning without having to send His Son to the cross only makes Him that much more loving to me. He could have saved His own Son the suffering. But He chose to prove His love for us.

The cross gets my attention. A far-away God does not.

In the middle of this loss that I am experiencing, I am thankful that God didn’t create a perfect world without sin. I am thankful that He allows us to realize our need of Him. I am thankful that He is right here with me.

Don’t misunderstand…I am terribly sad. I don’t understand why this happened. I am super healthy and I have had a baby before. So this isn’t logical. But thank God for the things that are illogical.

Through this illogical mess, God showed me that He could have done things differently. He could have…but He didn’t because He loves us that much.

New Life's Resolution

2010-01-09T21:38:00.001-05:00

Happy New Year! Yes. It’s a week late and I’m sorry. I haven’t blogged in a week but I have been reading all of your fabulous New Year’s Resolutions. I wish you all the best of luck as you reach whatever goal you have set for 2010.

If you read this blog regularly, then you know how much I love music. Sometimes, I hear a song and its words perfectly describe a feeling that I cannot adequately express. It warms my heart and it speaks to my soul. Musical worship, in my opinion, is the closest that we can get to Heaven here on Earth.

So it is probably no surprise that my New Year’s Resolution is based music.

Leeland’s “Follow You” (with special guest Brandon Heath) from the Love Is on the Move album sums it up. My goal is to live in a way that would be more pleasing to God. More specifically, to look outside the four walls of my life and reach out to people who need a helping-hand.

Here are some of the lyrics from “Follow You:”

“Use my hands, use my feet

To make your kingdom come

Through the corners of the earth

Until your work is done

'Cause Faith without works is dead

And on the cross your blood was she'd

So how could I not give it away so freely?

And I'll follow you into the homes that are broken.

Follow you into the world.

Meet the needs for the poor and the needy God.

Follow you into the World.”

Matthew 25:45 says that whatever we don’t do for strangers, for the sick or for prisoners is also what we don’t do for Christ.

And all this time I thought I was doing pretty good...

God gives us talents and it is up to us to use them in a way that pleases Him. If you think that you don’t have a talent, volunteer at your local food bank one Saturday. Or offer to start a game night at the nursing home and take some of your friends. Or eat lunch with the one person in the office who usually eats alone. It doesn’t take money and sometimes, it doesn’t even take much time.

It takes observation and effort. I am not very good at this. I get very wrapped up in the routine of my life and I miss opportunities to do His work. I get tired. I get frustrated because I had a bad day at work. I still have to do laundry. And cook dinner. And clean the kitchen. And then do it all again tomorrow. It’s exhausting.

The truth is that even my worst days are filled with blessings. I have a job. I have a family. We have food. We have clean water. We have electricity. We have so much to be thankful for and I want to do a better job of remembering.
I want to do a better job of really seeing the people around me and anticipating what their needs might be. This reminds me of the song “Hosanna” by Selah from the album, You Deliver Me. The words from the bridge of this song speak to me in way that I feel like have to answer. It’s almost like God is telling me that THIS is what he wants for me. Read these words:

“Heal my heart and make it clean

Open up my eyes to the things unseen

Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours

Everything I am for your kingdoms cause

As I go from nothing to

Eternity”

So my New Year’s Resolution is really my New Life's Resolution and it will be a continuing progression as I learn more about Him and what He wants for me. I don’t want to look back at my life and wish that I had done more. Erma Bombeck said it best when she said:

“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me.”

What exactly am I going to do? I don't have a great plan. I think I am going to start tomorrow by speaking to someone at church who I don't know or to someone who may be sitting alone. I could pay for someone's lunch or suprise Kelsey's teachers with something yummy. Or maybe the next time I see someone who is upset I will speak to them and not avoid them like the plague. Or maybe I will simply stop criticizing people so easily when I think they have made a bad decision. Or maybe, I will just start with a prayer.

Heavenly Father,
Thank you for all that you have given to me. I am sorry that I don’t say it enough. You deserve more than a simple prayer and so it is my heart’s desire to walk closer to you every day that you allow me to be here. Please use me as Your hands and feet in this broken world. Allow me to be an ambassador for Your love. Show me where to go and what to say. Lord, help me not to me so busy in my everyday life that I cannot sense Your guidance. After all that You have done for me, how can I NOT do this for You? I want to see with Your eyes and hear with Your ears and feel with Your heart. I ask all of these things in Your Son’s most precious and Holy name; Your Son who chose to be born knowing that He would live under the shadow of the cross and that the redemption of the world rested on his shoulders.
Thank you.

The Gift

2009-12-30T15:34:00.000-05:00

You may have noticed that it has been a while since my last serious post. This Holiday Season has been terribly busy. I say “terribly” because I hate being busy...seriously hate it. I like being at home and I love my quiet time. Thankfully, we are closing in on the New Year and I am looking forward to my routine again!

The truth is that had I been hit with some super-relevant idea, I would have found time to make a post. It was like my mind was in a drought. My quiet time is usually when God speaks to me but the lack of quiet time resulted in the lack of listening. I am sure He was there the whole time just waiting for me to slow down and listen.

The night before Christmas Eve, I watched The Nativity while wrapping presents. I really love how this movie shows the relationship between Mary and Joseph as they approach the birth of Christ. When the movie was over, I went to bed.

That night, at 3:30 in the morning, I woke up with a thought. It was so easy. It was so basic. It is so true. Joseph had a choice to make.

Mary was pregnant and even though she was innocent, it was her body and her life; she couldn’t just walk away from “the gift.” Mary’s family was probably like my family: disappointed but willing to do whatever it took to help the person that they loved. But Joseph had a choice. He could have pressed charges against Mary. He could have denied Mary and the baby. He could have moved on with his life but he chose to believe her. He made the choice to believe her.

I think of Romans 8: 16-17 that says,

"The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory." (NIV)

Joseph probably did some sharing in the sufferings of Christ before He was even born.

Isn't that true for us too? Deciding to follow Christ is not a guarantee that all of our problems will be fixed. It does fix the biggest issue of salvation but it won't fix our health, our finances, our relationships with other people or our unemployment.

Sometimes, the opposite happens. Sometimes it feels like the whole world is falling apart around us.

I believe that the natural side of Joseph probably looked up to the sky at some point and wondered...why? Of all the people in the world, why did God allow this to happen to him? I bet he even said a few things that were left out of the New Testament. All he wanted was a wife and probably kids after they were settled. Jospeh probably felt like God had shattered the little world that he was building for himself.

***But these are the instances where God takes our plans, our ideas and our world and makes it into something far greater than we could have ever built on our own.***

When I reflect on things that I have gone through, some of those things were so...out there...that it HAD to be God.

Let me give you an example so that you can understand the craziness that I experienced. Ten years ago I got pregnant after transferring from community college to a major university. I was a 21 year old junior in college living on campus. My boyfriend, who moved to college with me from our hometown, was not in college and was using me to "live the life." He lived with me in the dorm most of the time. About two months after we moved to this new town, he cheated on me and we broke up. Less a month later, I found out I was pregnant. (This is not the crazy part.) After a trying really hard, I realized that I couldn't continue to go to school so I moved back home.

I was six months pregnant when I got the call. It wasn't even from him. It was from his mom and she told me that he didn't think the baby was his; they wanted a paternity test. I was so angry that I threw the phone as hard as I could.

Even through all of that, I wanted nothing but for him to call me and apologize and ask me to marry him so that we could live happily ever after. I took the baby over to his family's house so they could spend time with her . He wouldn't come out of his room to see her. I really tried to allow him to fall in love with her but it never happend.

When Kelsey was about six weeks old, we did a paternity test and he found out that she was undeniably his.

This is where it gets crazy. He sued me for joint custody.

This is where it gets mind-blowingly-crazy. The day we went to court, he testified that I had kept the Kelsey from him and I refused to allow him to have a relationship with her.

And the judge believed him. Not only did she believe him, she actually reprimanded me in the courtroom that day and told me that I should be ashamed of myself for keeping Kelsey away from her dad.

For as long as I live, I will never forget how I felt in that instance. He was the one who followed me to college; he was the one who cheated; he was the one who refused to come out of the room when she was at his house. But I should be ashamed of myself? I wanted to stand up and shout at the judge that she had it all wrong!

That's how God wanted it to be. Clearly, it wasn't my plan. It wasn't fun. It wasn't cheap. It wasn't self-esteem-building. It was horrible. Ten years later, I am past it. I still don't understand it 100% but I can see how God used that experience to teach me about forgiveness. He also saved me from a marriage to Kelsey's dad.

God took my plan and did some crazy stuff to it. But His plan for me is SO much better than the plan that I had for myself. I am thankful that God allowed all of this to happen so that I could get a small glimpse of His love for me and Kelsey.

God took Joseph's plan and did some crazy stuff to it, too. God threw Joseph a curveball and he caught it. His plan for Joseph, Mary and Jesus is without a doubt the best thing that has ever happened to mankind.

So this might not be a huge revelation to any of you out there in the blogosphere. However, I found the idea of Joseph choosing to have faith and trusting in Mary's "gift"…unbelievable. The circumstances were out of his control but Joseph still trusted God.

Romans 8:28-39 reminds us of how much God loves us. We may think that the world is against us and that we don't deserve whatever trail we are facing. Jesus didn't deserve it either. When you need a comforting thought, read through this verse and stand on His promise to us. It really is "the gift."

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (NIV)

My First Award!!

2009-12-27T20:42:00.000-05:00

Amanda over at Teasingly Diverse gave me an award!! My first blogging award!! (Thanks, Amanda!I can't tell you how much this means to me!)

The award asks me to name 10 things that I love and then pass the award to 10 bloggers that I love. Before I start my list, I would like to say that the name of the award, "Happy 101," reminds me of my friend, Bianca. She is really the happiest person that I know AND she likes cupcakes. If she had a blog, I would TOTALLY pass this along to her. But since she doesn't, I will dedicate this award to her. When I am having a bad day, she always says a little something to make me smile. Thanks, B...for being such a great friend!

So, without further ado, the 10 things I love (in no particular order) :

1. My daughter, Kelsey. (Isn't she pretty?) Kelsey has the warmest heart of any 9-year-old that I have ever met. She loves animals, Jesus, her Grammy and GrandDad, Mario Bros and Chris Tomlin. The best thing about her is her laugh. She is pretty awesome and if you are lucky, you already know this for yourself.

2. Handbags. There is a difference between a purse and a handbag. A handbag is usually quite expensive, acts an accessory to an outfit and makes a statement. Purses don't. I realize that this makes me sound superficial but I love a well-made handbag. I love it...

3. Buffalo Wings. This has to be my favorite food. The truth is that I never ate meat while it was still attached to the bone; it grossed me out. It was like a small reminder that my food was alive at one time...like I am alive...and I have bones...and it weirded me out. And then I got pregnant and the rules went out the window. I probably ate chicken wings 5 times a week before Kelsey was born. And still...nine years later, I could eat wings every day. They never get old. Mmmmm....wings.

4. Music. I love how there is a song for every mood. I love how when I can't think of words to describe my feelings that there is usually a song made for my mood. I also love the technicalities of music. I love the time signature, the key, the phrasing, the cadence and the story that it tells. Even without words, a song tells a story. I love playing music on my violin and my (new!!) piano. I love listening to music when I am at the gym. I love singing. I love talking about music. I love it. I really just love it.

5. The Food Network. Why? Because I love to eat and watching TFN makes me think that I can cook well. Bobby Flay is so cool; Mario Battali makes me want to go to Italy; Paula Deen inspired my love affair with butter; Giada De Laurentiis could be my best friend and Guy Fieri makes me crave a greasy burger.

6. High Heels. I am only 5'2" and so I need heels to make me fit in with the average person. I also need them because my pants are always too long and because they are....cute!

7. CrossFit. So, yeah....I haven't been in two months but I have been busy! I still love it. I NEED the challenge and I love that I can actually do it! I can do pull ups like a man. I can squat my body weight. I know the difference between jerk clean and a power clean. It makes me feel cool...and I love being cool.

8. Sleeping. I can sleep for up to 12-14 hours a night; I require at least 8 hours to be normal. I need sleep! Without it, I get sick; I am grouchy; the color of my skin looks terrible. It is one thing that I can do really well!!

9. The Bible. You know what I love about The Bible? You can't make it up. So many authors over so many years telling the same story. It has to be true. And it tells the story of ALL stories. You know what else it does? It gives me little snippets of guidance just when I need it. I find encouragement in it's pages. I see bits of glory in every story. I find mercy and grace and redemption and sacrifice and love and betrayel and forgiveness and love.

10. My life. Yep. That is pretty cheesy but it is SO true. I love my husband; he is my best friend. I love my parents and my in-laws. I love my home. I love my job and my co-workers. I love my church and my church-family. I love my daughter's school and her teachers. I love my sister and my nephew. I love my girlfriends...all of them. I am happy and I am thankful for where God has me right now. I haven't always loved my life and my feelings might change tomorrow...but for today...I love it.

Now that you know all the things that I love you can meet the 10 bloggers that I love! Congratulations to Tracey, Sheryl, Reese, Jen, Suzanne, Sheena, Melissa, Julie, Sarah and Courtney!!! Thank you all for sharing your inspiration, your grief, your trials, your joys, your family and your God with all of us.

Faith

2009-12-15T22:59:00.000-05:00

I was in the middle of wrapping presents tonight when it hit me. Out of the blue.

Well, it wasn't really out of the blue. It was on a wall hanging that I bought at P. Graham Dunn in Gatlinburg, Tennessee this past October. Right there in front of my face.

Hebrews 11:1. Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certian of what we do not see.

I just had this conversation today with a good friend and I asked him the all important question of why people keep waiting for other people to change; situations to change; expectations to change; perceptions to change; opinions to change. I couldn't understand why they don't just take action and surround themselves with people who aren't so...one-sided, old-fashioned and traditional (in a bad way).

This post probably doesn't make any sense to most people following this blog. But let me tell you: it makes perfect sense to me.

Faith.

Sure of what we hope for.

Certain of what we do not see.

I imagine that the wise men had truckloads of faith. Who follows a star for miles and miles? Who knows that a star is going to lead them to the correct location? Who is so sure of this fact that they prepare gifts for the subject of their destination? The wise men did.

Now that's faith.

Have you ever tried to follow a star? It's not that easy because the Earth rotates. Consider clouds and fog and then you have a serious problem. I can't even follow GPS without turning down the wrong street and hearing, "Recalculating. Perform U-turn in 1/4 mile."

Not to mention the whole Herod thing. They confronted Herod before they found Jesus but they followed divine instructions not to return to Herod after they found Jesus. They knew not to disclose his location.

That's faith and obedience.

Do you think that the wise men's wives understood what was going on? I can hear it now, "Ok honey. If you want to take our frankensense and follow a star then go ahead. That's crazy talk and the kids have school. I'll be here when you get back. With the kids. Who have school. Did I mention they have school and you are leaving us to follow a star?"

Even though everyone they loved probably wrote them off, they still followed the star.

That star led them to the Son of God.

Sometimes we are faced with situations that don't make sense to the people we love. They want us to do what makes sense. Or follow what they think is the easy or right answer.

But maybe God just wants us to have a little faith.

How easily we forget that the God who breathed light into creation is concerned with what concerns us. He will not lose sight of what is going on in our lives. Even when it doesn't make sense.

So, to my friend, I want to say that I get it. I understand how when we feel like God wants us to do something, we do it. We are certain of things that we can't see. We are sure of what we hope for.

Faith doesn't make it easy...

Faith doesn't make it sensible...

Faith only makes it possible.

Faith. I probably need more of it.

How Hannah Montana Changed My Life

2009-12-06T10:08:00.000-05:00

Before I get into the meat of this post I would like to say two things. First, I would like to welcome my newest nephew into the world. He was born Friday night at 10:54 pm and he is beautiful. I cannot wait to watch his personality develop, share with his new mommy in the joys of motherhood and spoil the mess out of him. Second, I promise that I have happy stories. Not all of the posts on this blog are going to be deep, thought provoking and melancholy. One day, I want to tell you about the silliness of my 9-year-old; about the time that I accidentally left my car running for half the day that I was at work; about the time I cooked a cake that tasted more like leg-of-lamb than chocolate cake (remember that, mom?).

But for now, I really feel like I should tell you about the Hannah Montana Concert. Oh yeah, you heard me right. Hannah Montana.

2007 was a busy year. Mark and I were planning our wedding; we purchased my parent’s house and decided to gut it and remodel it just weeks before the wedding; Mark’s job was in question and he was considering opening his own business.

2007 was a hard year. Things were not going well with Kelsey’s real dad. I think he might have been upset that I was getting married to someone else; we couldn’t talk without fighting. His parent’s actually picked her up from school one weekend and refused to bring her home to me. Kelsey wanted to come home but the Sherriff’s Department couldn’t help because we had joint custody and the court systems were closed for the weekend. As a result, Kelsey began to display signs of anxiety disorder and started therapy.

I wanted to take focus off of all the craziness that WAS our life and do something special for Kelsey. If you remember, this was the year OF Hannah Montana. Miley Cyrus was hot. Her tour, The Best of Both Worlds, was selling out around the country in minutes. Tickets were being scalped for 4, 5, even 10 times their face value. Of course, I thought this would be the special thing I would do for Kelsey. I was able to get 4 pre-sale tickets within minutes of the time they went on sale…just seconds before the whole venue sold out. My mom and I would take Kelsey and a friend of her choice to the show in Charlotte, NC on November 27, 2007.

After weeks of excitement and planning, the concert date finally arrived. Kelsey chose to take her cousin, Avery, with her to the show. The concert was very Disney. Imagine 20,000 tween girls screaming for two hours straight. What was GREAT for Kelsey and Avery was just ok for me and mom.

It’s all about what happened after the show.

We parked about 4 blocks away from the arena. It was clear and cold that night so the walk back to the car was rushed because we were all freezing. Kelsey and Avery were reliving the concert song by song. Mom and I just wanted to go home. We were tired. We worked that day and drove the two-hour drive to concert only to turn around and drive home that night.

We came upon the final street crossing to the parking lot where our car was parked…finally. Remember stop, look and listen? Well I did but I didn’t see anything. Maybe it was the headache. Maybe I was tired. But I didn’t see the big, black Escalade coming our direction…speeding in our direction.

I said, “Ok. Let’s go.” So Kelsey did. For some reason, no one else did.

The rest of this is like an out-of-body experience for me.

I saw the headlights.

I froze.

I tried to grab her hand and pull her back. But I couldn’t move.

I tried to yell at her to stop. But I couldn’t talk.

I saw the Escalade coming super-duper fast.

Then Kelsey saw it.

She froze.

She stopped and froze.

In the middle of the road.

Finally, I heard it. Finally, I heard my mom yell for her. But it was too late.

She was in the middle of the road and she was not moving but the big, black car was right there. I knew they couldn’t stop. They were literally only a few feet away from her when I knew what was going on. I knew that her 7-year-old body was too small for the driver of the SUV to see her. I knew that we were not coming home that night. I knew that, at best, we would be heading to the hospital for what would hopefully be a life-saving surgery. I knew that, at worst, I would be burying my daughter in a few days.

But just when we think that we know what is going on. God does the most amazing thing. He shows that HE knows.

That big, black, speeding Escalade stopped. It stopped where Kelsey was standing. I am not exaggerating to you when I say that her nose touched the bumper where it stopped.

There is no Earthly explanation for that car seeing her. There is absolutely no explanation on how it was able to stop.

My daughter should not be alive. But because of the grace of God, I know that she is.

I don’t remember much about the drive home except that I knew I was the one who told her to cross the street. I can’t tell you what time we got home. I am sure that mom and I talked in the car that night, but I can’t confirm it.

What I do know is that I had to hold myself together.

When we finally got home, I sent the girls to bed and I sat at the bar in the kitchen and cried. I am pretty sure that I cried for hours.

The minute that car stopped for Kelsey, I knew. I KNEW. And it was overwhelming.

I knew at that minute that I never could have done what He did.

God sent His Son to this Earth to die for me. To die. His Son. For me.

My daughter should have been hit by a car that night but for some reason, God decided to spare her life. He stopped that car. God decided to spare her life but He didn’t even save His own Son. Because He loved me that much.

Remember in my previous post how I said that God restored my heart to better than it was before? The events of that night was the final touch of a long, long road that led me back to Him.

I got pregnant with Kelsey when I was 21. I dropped out of college and moved back home. I was still a kid. I had no idea what it meant to be a mom. I was just surviving as a mom. Oh, I loved her. But I didn’t enjoy her as a baby. I didn’t enjoy her as a toddler. I didn’t enjoy her much at all. But I promised I loved her…as much as I could.

On November 27, 2007, I was fortunate enough to see the power of God in action. I saw Him do the impossible by stopping that car. I finally understood what it meant for Him to see His Son suffering a horrible death on the cross for my sins.

On November 27, 2007, I prayed for the first time in many, many years. I told the Lord that I knew how hard it must have been for Him on the day of crucifixion. I told the Lord that I can’t imagine seeing my child hurt. I told the Lord that I know He saved Kelsey that night because there is no other explanation. I told the Lord that I don’t know why He did but I was thankful.

Two years later, I still have a hard time talking about that night. I can’t do it. It is just too much for my heart and my brain to understand.

All I know is that God is amazing. He will never let one of His own get away from Him. Oh, He might let them stray for a while, but He will draw them back when He is ready.

On November 27, 2007, God was ready to bring me back to Him. And He did. He also showed me how blessed I was to have Kelsey as my daughter and how easily she could be gone from me. He also showed me how much of a sacrifice He made by allowing His Son to die for me.

So for those of you who think that Hannah Montana can’t change your life, you weren’t there on November 27, 2009.

Follow Up

2009-12-03T18:21:00.000-05:00

I am writing a follow up to “That’s Love” based on feedback that I received from a very good friend. I love honesty. Sometimes I don’t like honesty but I do really love it and appreciate it. I think this might shed a little light on some of the undertones of my previous post.

A few months ago, I read, “Your Scars Are Beautiful to God,” by Sharon Jaynes. It was a wonderful book and I highly recommend it to anyone who has been scarred by life (ok…raise your hand if you have NOT been scarred by life….***silence***). The author explains that even though our life experiences may be hurtful or even tragic, God can and will use that scar for His good. A scar is the difference between truly sympathizing with someone and simply projecting empathy. For example, a woman who has never experienced a miscarriage can imagine what the loss, anger, physical tolls and fear may feel like. And although her intentions are pure, she cannot provide the same comfort as a woman who has been there. A woman who has had that experience can say, “I know what you are going through and I know it hurts. It will hurt for a while but one day, it won’t hurt as bad as it does right now,” and really mean it.

The book made me think about Jesus in a different way. For 33 years, he walked on this Earth and did a whole bunch of good while he was here: giving sight to the blind, healing the lepers, raising the dead, curing the woman with the issue of blood. However, his true purpose was not fulfilled until after he died on the cross and rose from the grave. The scars on his hands and feet and side sealed my salvation and proved to Thomas, and the rest of the world, that Jesus was who he said he was (John 20:24).

We can do a lot of good in our life but maybe, our true purpose and our best testimony will only appear after we have been scarred in the valley. Taking that thought a step further, how can we share our best testimony if we keep our scars covered up?

So here I am…uncovering my scars and sharing some of things that I have experienced in my life.

When I was 16 years old, my life was turned upside down. The leadership of my church found out that I had slept with my boyfriend. To control “the situation” there was a special service. Pretty much everyone was there and I sat on the very back row with my parents. I don’t remember much about the service except that the speakers used phrases like “playing with fire,” “getting burned,” “fornication” and “unrighteousness.” I was no longer allowed to sing in the choir. They might as well have taped a big, red “A” to my forehead like in the "Scarlett Letter." If you have ever been sixteen, then you know that this is a very dangerous place for a teenager.

I remember being humiliated. I remember mentally putting Christians and God in a box. I filed them away in the “thanks but no thanks” file. From that day on and for a really long time, I wrote then all off...Christians, including my parents, and God.
My life totally changed as a result of that experience. I was in and out of my parent’s house the last two years of high school. I didn't want to go to church at all. I partied a lot; was very bitter; was very angry. I wasn’t a bad person but I felt like a total screw up and that no matter what, I could never be as good as the rest of the kids at the church. I wondered what was wrong with me. This was the beginning of a lot of years where I thought God and Christians were judgemental, critical, impossible, untrustworthy, cold-hearted, intimidating and callous.

Fifteen years later, my life looks a whole different. I know that God used that experience to draw me closer to Him. As for my boxes...well, God isn't filed away in some box in my head anymore. I am pretty sure that the big, red "A" has been replaced by the scarlett blood of Jesus Christ. People, Christians and non-Christians alike, are all filed in the "sinner" file. We are all sinners. No one can measure up to Christ. We will make mistakes and we will need forgiveness.

I do not attend church with my parents these days. My husband and I attend a different church across town. I am happy at my little church. I feel like I am an important part of the body of Christ. My heart breaks when I see teenage girls looking for acceptance in all the wrong places. I reach out to them and tell them about the things I went through. They believe me because they can see my scars. There is a 17 year old girl in my youth group that calls/texts me almost daily. I think she is comfortable because I don't judge her. I listen to her and I welcome her.

When I visit church with my parents, a lot of those old feelings come back to me. They did last week when I attended the Thanksgiving Revival services. I might have been a little harsh when I said that they see the glass "half empty." A church is made up of many people and it is not fair to say that everyone there feels that way. I love the people at that church. I love visiting with my parents. I am so thankful that I was raised with a solid foundation of belief.

But....I experienced a very traumatic event within the walls of that church and maybe that scar is still healing.

I want this blog to give God the glory. I want to broadcast to everyone just how good He really is. I want to say the things that He wants me to say. I want to say, "Look! You will never believe where I used to be. You can never imagine how my heart was broken in a billion pieces. You cannot even understand how God picked up the pieces of my heart and restored it...better than it was before!!!!"

If I ever stray from that message then I am doing Him an injustice.

That's Love...

2009-12-01T21:36:00.002-05:00

Last week I attended my parent’s church for its annual Thanksgiving Revival. Each night, I attended services in the church where I grew up; the church where I first learned about God. It was like coming home: instantly comfortable and surrounded by memories…years of happy memories with dabs of not-so-happy ones.

As I mentioned in my previous post, music and worship is where I feel closest to God. Music and worship is one thing that this church can do well. When the choir opened with the words from Chris Tomlin’s How Great is Our God, the presence of the Lord was palpable. I closed my eyes to bask in His goodness; I absorbed the music and imagined the angels of Heaven singing with us. Song after Holy song was offered as a sacrifice to our God. Songs of praise filled the building. I wish you could have been there…

…for the singing.

The service that followed the music was very similar to the services that I sat through for the first 18 years of my life. I was reminded that there might not be a tomorrow; I was reminded of Hebrews 3:11-19; I was reminded that if we aren’t “right” with God, then we will be judged on the day of redemption.

Can you say “glass half empty?”

Maybe I am an optimist but I like to think that fire and brimstone is only a fraction of the story.

At the end of the service, I wanted to stand on my pew and shout, “Tell them about God’s love!!!! Tell them about how He gave his SON as a sacrifice for our sins. Tell them about Jesus! Tell them about how He loves the unlovable!”

But I didn’t say any of that. So I will say it here.

As we approach Christmas, I don’t need to remind you of the awesome gift we received that night in the form of a baby. But have you ever thought that the baby, named Jesus, knew before He arrived here on Earth what He would do for us? And He still came.

That’s love.

How about during the creation of the universe when God breathed the solar systems and galaxies into existence? He knew that Eve would listen to the serpent in the garden. He knew yet He still created the universe.

That’s love.

Let’s talk about Joseph. When Mary explained to Joseph that she was pregnant with God’s child and that she was still a virgin, he believed her. He really believed her.

That’s love.

Did you know that the Samaritan woman at the well had 5 husbands but Jesus, a Jew, still talked to her? He told her about the water that would quench her thirst eternally and give her everlasting life. He cared about her soul.

That’s love.

Peter. He denied Christ on three separate occasions yet laid the foundations of the early Church. God allowed a sinner to found His church.

That’s love.
And how about you? Did you know that you were in the heart of God as He was creating the universe? Do you know that He knew your sins before you committed them? He knew and He still created…knowing that His Son would die. He could have stopped but He didn’t. He cared about your soul.

That’s love.

I believe that it is important for people to know that Christ came for the imperfect. There is no measuring stick because even David, a man made after God’s own heart, was an adulterer and a murderer. Regardless of these mistakes, God used David to write some of the most encouraging Psalms that still encourage people today.

I will say that later on in the revival, someone mentioned the Love of God. It was the focus of the third service. Thankfully. I guess everything happens in God’s time. I just get frustrated when we try to scare people into religion. God is so much better than that.

If you have made mistakes, if you are poor, if you know you need help…then God sent His son for you. Just tell Him that you need His help. Ask Him.

He will answer. You know how I know? He was born in the middle of the night to a virgin for people like you and like me. He suffered an unimaginable death on a cross for you and for me. He will answer. He will do more than answer. He will fill all the holes in your heart. He will give you a love and a peace that you didn’t even know you needed.

I know because He did that for me. And He wants to do that for you.

Love. God’s Love. That's what we should shout from the mountain-tops.

Show it. Live it. Prove it.

The Musical Echo

2009-11-21T23:36:00.000-05:00

God speaks to me through music. I love it when I hear a song and it causes my soul to listen. There are times that I feel like my heart almost stops…like my very next breath depends on the Truth of the lyrics combined with the rise and fall of the melody.

A.W. Tozer once said, “God does it and man sings it. God speaks and a hymn is the musical echo of His voice.”

Much of my journey back to Christ is because He spoke to me through a song. Maybe it’s because a song doesn’t criticize…it doesn’t judge who I am or where I have been. It just is. I can probably list at least a hundred songs that have really influenced me but rather than start at the beginning of that list, I will start with the most recent.

I have had Chris Tomlin’s Christmas album, Glory in the Highest, for several weeks now and I have listened to it many times. (If you enjoy Christmas music and worship music, this is absolutely the album for you.) Looking back, it seems like every time I started to play it at work, my phone rang or someone walked in my office. It also seems like when I played it in the car, my daughter chose that exact moment to start a conversation on the content of scarecrow stuffing. Don’t get me wrong, I love talking to my daughter but it is difficult to focus on a song when you are trying to explain that, no, scarecrows are not necessarily stuffed with only scary stuff. (Secretly, I am wondering if the scarecrow is stuffed with the federal government’s FY10 budget and spending plan; that’s about the scariest thing I am aware of. Probably not…but I digress.)

So tonight, I didn’t just listen to the Tomlin album…I heard the Tomlin album. Track number 11, “Winter Snow” featuring Audrey Assad, to be specific. My heart paused as if Audrey were singing this to me and only me. This is an amazing, amazing song performed by someone with the most beautiful, bluesy, inspired-by-God voice that I have heard in a long time. I am her newest fan. If you have never heard the song, I invite you to listen to it here. (Just click the title, “Winter Snow.”)

The concept of the song is so simple. Here are some of the words:

“Could've come like a mighty storm

With all the strength of a hurricane

You could've come like a forest fire

With the power of heaven in Your flame

But You came like a winter snow

Quiet and soft and slow

Falling from the sky in the night

To the earth below.”

I almost feel funny writing anything after those words. Clearly, the song is describes all of the possible ways that Jesus could have appeared to us. He could have been bigger and stronger than any of the biggest or strongest things that we can imagine. But he appeared as a baby. In the middle of the night. To a virgin. In a stable.

That’s not exactly what I would call a grand entrance. But how beautiful is that thought? How peaceful is the middle of a clear night when the stars are as bright as the moon? Doesn’t the thought of that night give you hope? Doesn’t it make you feel as if God hand delivered His Son to us….for us?

Could you imagine if Jesus and His Army of Angels rode into Earth on a thunderbolt and cast fire and lightening at people to prove a point?

Yeah. Me either.

Think about snow. It is hard to think about a lot of snow having grown up in warm North Carolina. But even I can remember the first flake falling, then the second, then a few more and a few more until the grass started turning white and slowly disappearing. The snow slowly taking over the dead, brown grass until it all was a beautiful blanket of white.

One. Piece. At. A. Time.

That’s how Christ did it. Maybe that’s how we should do it.
We all have those friends. The ones who I refer to as the “project friends.” Like a new flower bed, or painting the bathroom walls, we make this friend our next project. Our ultimate goal is introducing her Christ and maybe getting her to join our church. We go in with the gusto! We call her daily; quote scripture when we can; talk about the activities of the church; invite her to church; show her our happiness; bake cakes; add her to the prayer list; counsel her when we disagree with her actions; worry when she never accepts our invitation to church; and on and on.

Whether we realize it or not, we may not be helping our “project friend” as much as we think we are.

Maybe we should approach her “quiet, soft and slow,” like Jesus did and like the song suggests.

Rather than going in with the gusto, maybe we should go in with love. We may not even need to say anything. Sometimes, just being there for someone and listening to her is enough to grab her attention. “Finally!!” she is thinking. “Here is someone who will just listen to me and not judge me.”

I know what she is thinking because I was the “project friend” for a lot of people throughout my life. The ones who truly made an impact on my life were not the ones who came to me with their Christian hat on and their Bible in their hands. The ones who made a difference to me came with the heart of Jesus. The ones who were easy and slow. The ones who just wanted to love me and not judge me.

One day, I will tell these people who they were to me. One or two of them are reading this blog right now.

In the meantime, I will witness to people the way they did and the way Jesus did. I pray that God helps me with this because even now, I am so quick to speak and quick to judge. I want come in quiet and soft and slow. I want to see Jesus cover the dead with His perfect white.

What's in a name?

2009-11-17T21:05:00.000-05:00

I bet you know a lot of Christians. I go to church every Sunday morning with a building full of Christians.

Or not.

Sure, the building might be full of people. But is the building full of Christians?

What does it mean to be a Christian? We could get all technical and have an educated discussion regarding the etymology of the word and attempt to break down the Hebrew, Greek and Islamic roots but let’s keep it simple. To be a Christian is to be a follower of Christ.

Rewind about 1975 years.

“The Disciples were called Christians first at Antioch,” Acts 11:26.

The disciples were called Christians because they followed Christ. Not because they went to church three times a week. Not because they had a fish magnet on the back of their minivan. Not because they sang in the choir. And especially not because they claimed to be Christians.

People who were not followers of Christ recognized a difference in the disciples and their followers. The most important thing to pick up on is that people who were not Christians noticed a difference.

Now, fast-forward about 1975 years.

Am I walking so closely with God that people notice a difference in me? Do people notice a difference in you? Or are you walking so closely with your church-mates that no one can see you?

That is tough. Going to church is a necessity. It is where we are fed the Truth. However, it is only a piece of the Christian walk. If we only surround ourselves with fellow church members, then we are missing out on making an impression on someone else. We aren’t spreading the good news of Christ. We aren’t reaching out to people who need encouragement. We aren’t being real Christians.

If you and I lived 1975 years ago, would the term Christian even exist? At what point did the definition become based on our claims rather than our actions?

I want people to see Christ in me. I want to breathe Him; I want to exude Him; I want to be obsessed with Him.

The truth of the matter is that most Christians say they want those things. But what is your experience? I can tell you that my experience has not always been so positive. God revealed Himself to me despite of those people. He is bigger than anything I can name; He is more loving than I can imagine. He gave His only Son to die for me so that I could have eternal life. Because of that gift, I want to be the best Christian that I can be while I am here. Of course I will make mistakes. Of course I will miss opportunities. But I want my life story to be about Him. I want to be willing to look beyond the four walls of my church to see someone like the woman who Jesus saw at the well. I want to be willing to talk to someone outside of my comfort zone.

I have been working on this post for days. I don’t want to be misunderstood so I keep trying to get it right. I think that God gave me this topic because it is so near and dear to my heart. The bottom line is that Christians can do more damage than good when they forget who they are without Christ and when they start examining the faith of other Christians. The continuous motion of reaching out, loving on someone and pouring Christ into people should monopolize our time to the point where there is no time to judge each other.

If we live by that philosophy, then we can truly be called Christians.

A quick prayer...

2009-11-14T09:28:00.000-05:00

I have something that I would like to share with you all and I have been typing for over a week. I can't get it right. Usually, the words just flow and it comes together so beautifully...but not with this topic. I think, I pray, I type, I edit and then, I realize that the words don't work. The end product is not what I am trying to say. The last thing I want to do is write something that does not glorify God.

So rather than force something that maybe God is still putting together for me, I will say a prayer.
*************************************************************************
Father, thank you for loving me. I cannot understand why you would choose to send your Son to die a horrible death on the cross to save my sins but I will praise you for your mercy as long as I live. I surely didn't deserve it but you loved me anyway. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to reach out to people through this blog and in my everyday life. I believe that you have laid a topic on my heart that you want me to write about. Please guide my heart and my mind to relay this topic in a way that will be a blessing to you.

Help me to walk with you more closely each day,
Help me to never get stuck inside religion but to get totally lost in you.
Help me to love the unloveable.
Help me to never measure someone against the Christian measuring stick.
Help me to remember that church is not a building.
Help me not to live in a box.
Help me to see that the Body of Christ consists of more people than the few Christians I personally know.
Help my light to shine.
Help me to see people the way you see them.
Help me to remember the times that I fell down and more importantly, that is was You who picked me up.

Amen

Full of What?

2009-11-07T12:19:00.000-05:00

"If your cup is empty, you have nothing to offer when someone else needs a drink." I heard this quote the other day and it reminded me of this blog. My previous post about the Alabaster Jar described the woman at Jesus' feet pouring out her best for Him. One thing we didn't discuss is how her best got into the Jar in the first place. If my life and my body is my Alabaster Jar, I can only pour out what I put in.

This week has been the longest, most exhausting week I have had in a long time. I couldn't understand why I was barely making it through the day at work just to come home and barely make it to bed. I was struggling. As I was lying in bed, drifting between sleep and awake, I thought of that scripture in Psalms 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God." Suddenly, I was wide awake. At what point this week had I been...still?

(Talk amongst yourselves while I laugh out loud for a minute.)

Ok, I'm back. No wonder I was exhausted. There was literally something going on every evening after working all day. Kelsey and I weren't getting home until 8:00 pm or later. I can only imagine that if I was tired, her little 9-year-old body was tired too.

Even though most of my evening activities were centered on church, I was still drained. I can see it now. “Sorry Jesus, but my Jar is empty.” I hope I never have to mutter those words.

I am learning that I need time at home and even more importantly, I need quiet time at home. I need to be able to pray and sit still long enough to hear what God is telling me. Prayer is a two-way conversation and if I talk the whole time, or squeeze prayer time in between bath time and making dinner, I will miss what He is telling me. This is how I replenish my Jar.

Additionally, our spare-time activities replenish our Jar.

We are inundated with media; constantly stimulated by text messages, emails, chat rooms, social networking sites, television and radio. Have you ever realized that each of these items can keep you 100% occupied for a really long time without ever having face-to-face interaction with another human being?

These items can also steal your quiet time. They will sneak in when you least expect it; they will chew up your quiet time and spit it out at the end of the day. Equally as destructive, these items become what you put in your Alabaster Jar.

Philippians 4: 8-9 comes to my mind. Paul says that we should think on whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy. I want my activities to honor Him. I want my thoughts, my music, the books I read, the conversations I have, the clothes I wear (yes, mom…I even said the clothes I wear) to honor Him.

If I am still before God and if I honor Him in my activities, then I believe that my Alabaster Jar will be filled with what pleases Him. It will also be so full that I can share with people that I come in contact with…without completely draining it.

After all, you can’t pour out something that isn’t there and you can’t share something that you don’t have.